You’re not alone in your gender issues

Readers’ commentaries regarding the person who’s questioning being “gender fluid” (Aug. 29): Reader 1: “I was born in the ’60s, and before I was old enough to think about gender, I knew I wanted to do boy things and play with the boys.

“I wanted to skate like a boy, dress like a boy, skateboard, play baseball and race my bike with the boys.

“I cried at age 5 when my room was painted pink, but at the same time I had a crush on Fred. I had no interest in playing ‘house’ with the girls.

“I fought my school to be allowed into the car shop or carpentry shop. I kept up the tomboy in me although I’d started dating boys in Grade 9.

“I was forced to wear only skirts and dresses at my first job in retail (the ’70s), and the girl I worked with introduced me to nail polish and makeup when I was 17.

“I went all through high school without a dab of makeup or a haircut. I ended up enjoying fashion, but in my downtime, I still dress boyishly.

“I call myself a female in touch with my masculine side.

“I still enjoy male-dominated things and activities, like my car or anything with a motor or mechanical gadgets. I had all my own tools and took a carpentry course.

“I married in my 20s and had three beautiful children.

“My point: I hear all this talk about gender fluidity and confusion about it.

“I was never confused, I always knew I liked boys.

“I was attractive in my youth and met women that found me attractive but loved them only as friends, because I’m straight.

“I have a lot of gay friends, male and female, and we discuss these things.

“It’s possible to be a female and to be attracted to men yet enjoy doing male-dominated things.

“My two beautiful, feminine daughters who excelled at sports and rock climb with me to this day were both a little tomboyish, but not to my level.

“If there’s a man out there that gets women, it’s my son.

“Once in school, they were showing male-dominated activities and common responsibilities, as well as those for women. He said that his mom did all of them.” Reader 2: “Someone can struggle with gender identity and expression at any age, and especially if they’re young, the amount of self-awareness it takes to ask these questions and then reach out for help is a mark of maturity.

“I want to tell the questioning letter-writer that they’re not alone and they should be commended in their journey.

“First, look up 2SLGBTQ+ resources in your area to connect with other people who might have the same questions as you.

“Seek professionals skilled in supporting people through issues with gender identity and expression. A supportive community can mean a world of difference whether online or in real life.

“Having real people rather than an internet search engine to navigate these is crucial. One-on-one or group counselling could help support you through depression.

“(I do recommend doing an Internet search to first determine how well-versed your counsellor is in gender issues).” Tip of the day

Increased awareness of gender identity and diversity hopefully leads to more selfacceptance.