What to do about Donald?

“How do you solve a problem like Donald? “How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? “How do you find the word that means Donald? “A flibbertigibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!” With deep apologies to the nuns who sang one of the most famous songs in the 1965 hit musical film The Sound of Music by the team of Rodgers and Hammerstein about Maria, the unpredictable novice nun played by Julie Andrews, the sentiments felt by the older nuns about Maria must be exactly how Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Canada’s trade negotiators feel these days about U.S. President Donald Trump.

In a news conference Wednesday that some U.S. commentators described as “insane,” Trump displayed his continuing ignorance about Canadian trade policies, claimed he rejected a request by Trudeau to meet with him and attacked Chrystia Freeland, our top NAFTA negotiator.

Like the nuns in The Sound of Music who don’t know how to deal with Maria, it’s likely no one in Ottawa or anywhere else in the world knows how to deal with Trump when he acts like that.

Trump’s comments about Canada came as Canadian and American trade negotiators are trying to hammer out a new NAFTA deal before a deadline of this Sunday set by the U.S. to send a new free-trade agreement to the U.S. Congress.

American negotiators say the deal would include only the U.S. and Mexico if Canada doesn’t sign by then.

In his news conference, Trump appears to have lied when he said he turned down a meeting with Trudeau. Officials in Trudeau’s office immediately denied there was any request for a meeting.

Next Trump attacked Freeland, saying: “We are very unhappy with the negotiations and the negotiating style of Canada. We don’t like their representative.” He didn’t mention Freeland by name, but there was no doubt about who he meant.

And then, in another bizarre comment, Trump said he wants to rename any three-nation deal as “USMC” for the U.S., Mexico and Canada.

Such talk about putting the U.S. name first in any deal rather than leaving it as the “North American” free trade agreement shows the level of pettiness of Trump, who would put Canada’s name last.

Fortunately, Trump may not get his way on naming the trade deal.

He seems to have forgotten, or maybe no one told him, that USMC also refers to the United States Marine Corps.

Sadly, since becoming president, Trump has displayed an amazing lack of knowledge about Canada. He lies and distorts Canadian policies and practices on everything from trade to climate control. Worse, he doesn’t seem to be willing to learn anything about this country.

We know how the nuns felt about the unpredictable Maria, and how Trudeau must feel about Trump: “Unpredictable as weather, he's as flighty as a feather, “He'd out pester any pest, drive a hornet from its nest, “He could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl, “He is gentle! He is wild! He's a riddle! He's a child!” By the end of “The Sound of Music” Maria was a hero and an international inspiration to millions around the world who saw the film.

Given his track record so far, Canadians should assume Trump won’t become a hero or an inspiration. Instead, we will have to deal with him as if he will always be “a child.”