Most of us have a holiday parenting fail (or maybe 10)
The holidays are about family time, not about making sure everything is perfect.
I have a holiday inferiority complex. I have no aptitude for decorating, limited patience for baking and an introvert’s aversion to parties. But I’ve internalized the idea that it is my job as mom to make the season magical: A heartwarming, memory-stuffed, amber-hued experience that my children will treasure forever. These conflicting realities have left me with a bad attitude about my inability to provide adequate seasonal wonder. I didn’t realize how entrenched that feeling was, though, until a brave woman in my running group declared on social media that she had failed at the holidays.
Her tree was covered in mud, she said, and she didn’t care. It was going to stay brown. “Please post your #holidayparentingfails!” she implored. It was like a dam burst. There was the mom who recounted the year her toddler pulled every ornament off the tree and then pulled the tree onto himself. And a mom who realized belatedly that the pretzel, white chocolate and red M&M treats she’d made for the class party looked like breasts. Another said she’d threatened to call Santa Claus to report her kids’ misbehaviour. Apparently, the Elf on the Shelf and the Mensch on the Bench are doing serious overtime, because “Oh, yeah!” and “I did that too” responses popped up instantly.
I’m not the only mom who’s left the gifts where my kid could see them (I told him those were going to Toys for Tots). And like me, other moms owned up to having surprises ruined by an obvious package delivered from Amazon; “Thanks a lot, Walmart,” one mom grumbled about the box that arrived with a giant picture of the item plastered on its side. I learned that holiday cards are a pain for other people too. It took me two weeks to finally pick up the ones I’d ordered; other people weighed in with “I’ll get them out in January,” “I ordered them without including our name,” “I had them sent to my old address,” and “I cut off half of my husband’s head.”
Seeking more fails, I put the call out on social media at large: Tell me about your #holidayparentingfails. One mom said that her diaper-bag-and-purse combo caught her dress at a performance of the Nutcracker, and she mooned a large portion of the audience before someone — probably another mom — spotted the problem and yanked the dress down for her. A friend shared that one year, her mom forgot to put names on the presents and just had everyone open whatever they could get their hands on.
This thread was miraculous. Yes, of course, I know other people mess up. We’re all human. But I loved this willingness to not only own the mistakes, but to put them on display, when so much of social media feels like a curated show of only our best selves.
“Look,” these posts said, “I blew this one big time. Check it out.” We all mess up.