VEGGIE FAILS
I feel like a food failure because my 11- and 13-year-o sons still don’t like vegetables. Jalaluddin,
I’m not really into New Year’s resolutions, because a) I’m contrary by nature and b) I can’t think of any unique ones. So instead of the usual “be healthier” standby, I’ve decided on an anti-resolution: This year, I will try to be honest and accept my family’s food choices.
I have written in the past about meal planning and my obsession with Excel spreadsheets.
Yet despite my lists of menu options, I still feel like a food failure because, at the ripe old ages of 11 and 13, my sons still don’t like vegetables. I’ve waited in vain for those “mature taste buds” to kick in, cooled my heels hoping for “if you keep introducing healthy food they will eventually cave” to work, and … nothing.
Mustafa still doesn’t like tomatoes and most fruit. Ibrahim still negotiates his vegetable consumption like he’s haggling on Kijiji: “Mom, I’ll trade you three green beans and two slices of red pepper for five mushrooms, and that’s my final offer.”
I really have to work on my strategy.
Last round, I ended up eating his vegetables for him.
All of this has been on my mind, especially after I read an article by writer and author of
The Eating Instinct Virginia Smith-Sole.
She writes about our unhealthy relationship with food, the way that diet and “healthy eating” culture has ironically left kids without a natural eating instinct. Fed is best, Smith-Sole argues. How your kid eats matters more than what they eat; nutrition is not gospel. She also counsels that kids should not be forced to clean their plate, or eat all their vegetables. Her advice raises many questions.
Such as: Should I allow my kids to follow their own instincts when it comes to food? Even if their instinct is to only eat cheese, bread and green gummy worms (for the green component of their diet)?
Also: Is this all my fault because I raised them with the wrong instincts?
Like most people, my husband and I try to make healthy choices.
We buy Brussels sprouts, broccoli, fruit and plastic tubs of salad greens. But I can’t claim we eat all of it, every week. Sometimes, I don’t make salad to accompany my lasagna. I usually don’t have a platter of freshly sliced fruit to offer my kids as after-school snacks. I have been known to … (hangs head in shame) allow soda pop with meals.
The truth is, some weeks the healthy stuff sits neglected in the fridge.
The reasons for this are plentiful — we’re having a busy week, or someone (read: definitely my husband) brought home a few too many snacks on the last grocery run, or someone (read: possibly me) went on a holiday baking blitz and now we have eight dozen gingerbread cookies taunting us from the kitchen. So we overindulge. And then we cut back, look up keto-paleo-vegan recipes, decide to cut out pop, sugar and maybe wheat.
But then it’s the weekend and what will the kids eat for breakfast? Lunch? Snack? For the rest of their lives?
Does all this mean my child will never appreciate the succulence of a well-roasted eggplant? Because trust me, trying to bribe a stoic teenager is an exercise in exaggerated sighs (his) and existential despair (mine).
Maybe Smith-Sole is right. I should let my type-A Excel spreadsheets off the hook and let my kids follow their own eating instincts.
Because the truth is, that’s how I grew up.
My mom was an indifferent (albeit unintentionally excellent) cook.
She nightly produced healthy dinners with plenty of vegetables, pulses and protein … but other meals were mostly forage-as-you-will.
I ate a lot of bagels for breakfast. Yet, as an adult, I have developed a taste for cauliflower, homemade soup, various salads and even the occasional bit of fruit, if there aren’t any other options.
Perhaps the best thing I can do for my kids is to continue to cook and pass them bananas and strawberries to munch on when they’re distracted by YouTube.
And try to ignore that there are now only three dozen cookies left.
Don’t judge me; I’m only following my instincts.
I feel like a food failure because, at the ripe old ages of 11 and 13, my sons still don’t like vegetables