QUIT PLAYING GAMES
She tried her best. Two months later, Uzma Jalaluddin is reeling over her inability to accomplish one of her new year’s resolutions,
It’s the end of February, long enough into the new year to check on those goals made so hastily last month. Or, in my case, in December.
I tried. Really, there were about three solid days in January when I was really trying. I did it every day, I put it in on my calendar, I had reminders. My kids nagged and pestered me daily. My husband told me I’d never do it, which is usually all the motivation I need.
But I’m sad to report, nearly two months into the new year, that it hasn’t worked. My New Year’s Resolution to start playing video games has failed.
I don’t know what went wrong. I started out with the best of intentions. I told Mustafa, in December, that during the holidays I would make a Clash of
Clans account and join the family Clan. When school finished for the break, I dutifully signed up and started to play. I listened to both sons’ plentiful playing advice and, even if I didn’t understand half of it, I implemented their strategy (or rather handed over my phone and let them play for me).
But after two days, I could feel my attention slipping. Mustafa would wander by and ask me how my base was coming along, or how much gold and elixir I had collected.
“Tons. Really, really, a lot. Just so much,” I hedged.
A few days after that he asked me what level town hall I was at. “Um … 15?” (There is no town hall level 15. Also, it takes about three years of steady playing to get to level 10, so this didn’t go down too well.)
I could blame my kids for putting too much pressure on me. I could blame my husband for not believing in me in the first place. (Him: Mom’s not going to play. Don’t expect anything. Me: Yes I will! I can learn to love video games! Kids: Yes, Mom! We believe in you!)
The real reason I made this ill-fated resolution was because I’ve realized I don’t have any hobbies. It’s so easy to pursue the same hobbies and interests that have brought you joy for years. But after a recent conversation with a friend, I realized that I’m in a bit of a rut.
I’d like to think of it as being focused and single-minded, but the truth of the matter is that I only have two interests: reading and creative writing. When I have extra time, I do more of both. Aside from these two things, I don’t really do anything else. And that’s starting to bother me.
A healthy mind is constantly engaged, stretching itself to pursue new ideas, new interests and trying new things. I haven’t taken up a new sport, game, activity, joined a chess club or taken a class in years. I haven’t taken up mountain climbing, car maintenance, skydiving or ballroom dancing. I did have a brief flirtation with scrapbooking 10 years ago, but it didn’t last. I have been interested in the same things my entire adult life. I’ve gotten quite good at both of them — reading several books a week, writing professionally — but shouldn’t I have more?
I really thought gaming would do it. It’s perfect: an activity that can easily be used to spy on my kids and husband, a fun melding of amazing visuals and mental strategy, and you can play it on the couch in yoga pants. But in the end, my husband was right. I hate it when he’s right. Last weekend, in an attempt to give it one last try, I picked up our Nintendo Switch controller and settled in to play an hour of Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe. Mustafa insisted I make a new account, so I wouldn’t ruin his record.
The first monster killed my avatar about five seconds into the game. “This is so painful,” Ibrahim said. I respawned and resumed, eventually passing the first level.
The second level started and I fell down a crevasse.
“It’s like watching a baby learn to walk,” Mustafa said. “Mom, you have to press down! Down, down!”
“You know, I used to be good at Super Mario, back when it came out on the first Nintendo system.”
Disbelieving silence accompanied this comment. “You want me to play for you?” Mustafa offered instead.
My husband sat on the couch beside me, updating his Clash of Clans account.
“I can’t watch,” he said when I prodded him to admire my jumping and flying.
I lasted about 15 minutes before handing the controller to Mustafa, who really shouldn’t be this good at video games.
Next time I take up a hobby, I’ll do it without making a grand proclamation. And even though my new passion (likely) won’t be online gaming, the search is on.
Maybe I’ll go back to my first love: long bike rides. Just as soon as the snow melts.
My New Year’s Resolution to start playing video games has failed. I don’t know what went wrong