When (digital) life is passing you by …
A luxury retreat caters to elderly workers in tech (ages 30 and up)
EL PESCADERO, MEXICO— At a luxury resort in Baja California Sur, everyone was recovering from a long day sharing how hard it felt to be getting older.
Some of the participants walked pensively along the Pacific Coast at sunset. Others read from the resort bookshelf, choosing from sections labelled: “What can death teach me about life?” and “What are the unexpected pleasures of aging?”
The next day, the group would place stickers with ageist slurs all over their chests, arms and faces, and then hurl the stickers into a fire. Later, there would be healing sessions focused on intergenerational collaboration and accepting mortality.
That some of those on retreat were in their 30s and 40s did not strike them as odd.
The resort, called Modern Elder Academy and located in El Pescadero, Mexico, opened in November. Guests don’t check in and out as at a traditional retreat; they submit “applica- tions” for one-week programs and, if accepted, pay “tuition” of $5,000 (U.S.).
Modern Elder was started by a hotelier turned Silicon Valley entrepreneur, and it is aimed at workers in the digital economy — those who feel like software is speeding up while they are slowing down, no matter how old they really are. Tech is a place where investors are wary of funding any entrepreneur born before Operation Desert Storm, where Intel is under investigation by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for age discrimination, where giants like Google and IBM regularly face the spectre of class-action lawsuits from workers north of 40.
In and around San Francisco, the conventional wisdom is that tech jobs require a limber, associative mind and an appetite for risk — both of which lessen with age. As Silicon Valley work culture becomes American work culture, these attitudes are spreading to all industries. More workers are finding themselves in the curi- ous position of presenting as old while still being — technically, actuarially — quite young. And Modern Elder sees a business opportunity in selling them coping workshops, saltair yoga and access to a shaman.
Come to Baja, the sales pitch goes. It’s hard getting old, especially when the elder years start at 30.
“People feel irrelevant younger, especially in places like Silicon Valley,” Modern Elder founder Conley said. “But they’re going to live longer, so there’s excitement and bewilderment. And everyone is won- dering, ‘What do we do now?’ ”
At Modern Elder, several people introduced themselves by rounding up their ages — one woman said she was “soon to be 39,” another was “almost 42,” and a third was “pretty soon looking at 50.” Some said they chose to come south because they thought vacationing would be more serene without 20-somethings in the mix.
Conley packs the days with activities, circle after circle. To speak, the members pass a long and knotty talking stick with deep holes all the way though, like Swiss cheese. Soon, many in the group were seeing their boundaries fall. Some cried. Others said they were sharing things for the first time.
Another circle started, this one about “liminality.” A participant says, “I feel like I’m just not getting it. I watch YouTube stars and all these things, and intellectually I get it, but emotionally I just can’t connect.” Snaps of agreement came from around the circle. No one else connected with the YouTube stars either, and it was OK. There was a growing sense of empowerment and camaraderie — almost rebellion.