UNIVERSAL APPEAL

Cosmetics companies have reported record growth in the male sectors,

“Do you have any advice on how I can encourage my husband to wear makeup? He had bad acne as a teen and has some scarring, but he also has bags under his eyes. It’s the same stuff women deal with, so I don’t see why there isn’t more talk about makeup on guys. I’ve brought the subject up, but he’s reluctant. I know he’s self-conscious about his facial appearance, but he’s actually more worried about what women will think than men.” — Hélène, Ottawa

Your husband is right not to concern himself with what men might think about makeup, because these days, more and more men are reaching for the latest skin potions and tinted moisturizers. In fact, cosmetics companies have reported record growth in the male sectors. (I can’t help but picture some beauty execs rubbing their hands together with glee, tallying the profit potentials that open up when men start caving to the same pressures as women.)

Hollywood heartthrob Henry Golding, who stole the show in Crazy Rich Asians, wore makeup to his recent red-carpet appearance at the Golden Globes — or rather, since male celebrities always wear makeup to public events, Golding actually made headlines by proudly sharing that he was wearing Tom Ford bronzing products.

But before we cover the specific howtos of makeup application, I think it’s useful to first discuss how to talk to your husband. (If you’re anything like me, delicate conversations with your part- ner can sometimes devolve into a “What are we even fighting about?” fiasco.)

So, to get some talking tips, I called up one of the most effective negotiators in Toronto. In fact, this person is currently tackling such sensitive projects that they had to remain anonymous in this column. “Much of negotiating is trying to figure out commonality between your interests and the other person’s interests,” my secret source explained. “So, if you’re my partner in this scenario, your interest is wanting to feel comfortable and my interest is wanting you to feel better about yourself: There’s an alignment there, even though we disagree on how it should happen.”

Even in top level negotiations, this expert argues, your intention is key. “A big part of negotiations is communicating your interest in understanding how the other person feels. You could start from the perspective of thinking ‘Stop worrying, there’s a really easy fix: wear makeup,’ but then the dialogue won’t work because it isn’t conveying that you’re interested in how he feels. Or you could you say: ‘I know that this is something that causes you stress, and I really care about you, so I have some solutions that might help. Let’s talk about them.’ Those two approaches are very different.”

Once you’ve laid the foundation for a productive conversation by demonstrating how genuinely you care and how deeply you understand his concerns, you can discuss practical solutions. My first suggestion is pretty straightforward: how to look fresher without wearing too much makeup? Proper skin care. Influential makeup artists never dip into their cosmetics kits without first treating and prepping the skin. Regular exfoliation (opt for a chemical product rather than an abrasive scrub) and thorough moisturizing can soften the look of scars by plumping the skin and a high-quality eye cream can, over time, lighten undereye circles — no maquillage required.

If you want to get serious about treating pitting and pigmentation, schedule a visit to your local cosmetic dermatologist to discuss laser treatments. The options, like IPL, abound and these technologies are a surefire way to refresh your complexion with limited daily work. While there is often no downtime associated with these procedures, there are downsides: The cost can be upwards of $1,000 for a full series of treatments.

Whether you opt to treat your skin at home or in a doctor’s office, there is an array of options that can further even out skin tones, without the heavy look or feeling associated with old-school makeup. A few daubs of yellow hued corrector under the eyes (always applied by tapping one’s ring finger into the product and then gently pressing it into the skin) can help even out the darkness of circles. Then, I like to give my complexion a gentle boost while also protecting my skin by using a tinted SPF product. My favourite is Skinceuticals physical fusion UV defense SPF 50 ($46, skinceuticals.ca), but it’s pricey, so Garnier’s Ombrelle offers a great drugstore option, as well. These simple steps might help refresh his skin, but importantly, they also rise above vanity to deliver comfort and protection from the elements, so your husband might be more likely to give them a try.

After you arm him with the practical benefits of a good skin care regime and regular SPF use, tell him you love him and let it go. He’s lucky to have a wife who wants him to be happy — and you’re lucky to have a husband who listens to what you have to say, even if he doesn’t act on your advice. Because, while I might not be a professional negotiator, I know that constructive compromise trumps a clear complexion every time.