Twins again. Raising four children in a pandemic
Hamilton family expecting in June adjusts to less contact with loved ones
Weddings, concerts and vacations can be replanned, rebooked or outright cancelled.
But Brittany Garrard-Amos’s second pregnancy can’t be rejigged to a better time free from COVID-19.
“These babies won’t wait for a vaccine to be found or social distancing rules to be relaxed,” Garrard-Amos said. “They’re coming in a few weeks, regardless of the state of our world, and it’s just something I’ve had to accept.”
Last fall, Garrard-Amos and her husband Tim Amos got news they described as the “shock” of their lives.
They were expecting twins — again — joining their threeyear-old duo Isla and Asher.
Having an idea of what was in store, Garrard-Amos said the couple began “recruiting” help to make sure they could survive the early months of four under the age of four.
A certain friend was set to bring meals, while another would take the toddlers at least one day a week to give them a break. Then in the summer, Amos’ parents would fly in from out of province for a visit.
But the coronavirus pandemic changed all of that. The couple’s game plan was shattered.
Social distancing measures aimed to quell the spread of the virus meant families and friends couldn’t visit, and nonessential travel was put on hold.
“It made it hard to swallow, this was already going to be a really hard time,” said GarrardAmos. “But now, no one is able to help us.”
The pandemic changed the face of her already high-risk pregnancy early on.
The babies are due June 1. But working as a recreational therapist in long-term care, she went on maternity leave early to mitigate risk, putting both an emotional and financial strain on the family.
Garrard-Amos has not been able to go to her osteopath for a prenatal massage or safely shop for essentials to prepare for the twin’s arrival. Family members have had to do most of the shopping for her.
She’s also missed the emotional aspects of pregnancy, like friends and family being able to feel the babies move.
“That affected me more than I thought it would,” GarrardAmos said. “COVID-19 changed all that.”
But what worries GarrardAmos the most is what the twins’ birth will look like and if her husband will be by her side during her caesarean section.
When she gave birth three years ago, there were complications that landed her daughter,
Isla, in McMaster Children’s Hospital. This time around, she was hoping for a bit of “normalcy.”
“That’s definitely hard to process,” Garrard-Amos said. “I’m scared of delivering.”
Being under the care of Dr. Susan Ellis, chief of obstetrics and gynecology at St. Joseph’s Healthcare in Hamilton, has made a difference — even from behind a full ensemble of personal protective equipment.
“The amount of care and compassion she’s had for her patients under the pandemic has been amazing,” Garrard-Amos said. “That doctor, she is incredible. I have nothing but praise to sing.”
Even with their original plans seemingly off the table, Garrard-Amos and her husband have been managing to remain positive.
When the twins are older, she wants to be able to tell them a story of “hope” and “resilience” that shows how strong their family was through a trying time. That strength comes in part from Garrard-Amos’s mother, Debbie, who will move in with the family after the birth.
“I was raised by a very strong woman,” she said.
Without distractions of social gatherings and commitments, the family is “choosing joy” in all the time they’ll have together as a family.
They’ll be able to enjoy the “antics of toddlerhood” and get to know the babies without the pull of everyday life, GarrardAmos added.
Even with all the “crap” and “sad things” that come with the pandemic, she is looking at a glass half full, not empty.
She has done it — raising twins — once before. This time it will just look a “little” different.
“I’m not going to let a pandemic steal the immense joy of welcoming two new babies into our family,” said Garrard-Amos. “COVID-19 won’t have the final word on that; (the virus) can’t take that away from our family.”