Finding ways to engage with senior-aged parents in the COVID era,
Plenty of simple ways to connect with an older relative during isolation
Before COVID-19, Carolina Ayala, 41, would see her mother Alicia Ayala, 73, every weekend. The elder Ayala would take public transit from her apartment near Sherbourne Station to Ajax, where Carolina lives. Alicia usually stayed overnight, from Saturday to Sunday, spending time at Carolina’s home since Alicia’s apartment was too small for socializing. But Alicia’s weekly treks to Ajax came to an end once COVID-19 hit.
Now, Carolina visits Alicia downtown every Sunday, bringing groceries and doing her banking. More importantly, Carolina spends some time adding videos to Alicia’s YouTube playlist every week, based on Alicia’s requests. It’s all in an effort to keep Alicia occupied and engaged while at home. “We had YouTube set up through her Smart TV right before COVID,” Carolina says. “She likes cooking shows, music, talk shows. Everything is in Spanish. She’s from Chile so she really feels comforted by Spanish.”
Alicia doesn’t speak or read English, so Carolina believes that having programming on YouTube helps keep Alicia’s days full so she feels less compelled to leave the house.
Carolina is one of many adult children that are finding creative ways to engage with their senior-aged parents in the COVID-19 era. Laura Tamblyn Watts, CEO of CanAge, a seniors’ advocacy organization, says older adults are socially vulnerable at this time. “Social isolation is one of the biggest issues facing older people, even in non-pandemic circumstances,” Tamblyn Watts explains. “There is a very clear causal relationship between social isolation and physical health, so your chances of walking, breathing, bending, living are affected by your degree of social connection.”
For older adults that are used to regular visits from children and grandchildren, Tamblyn Watts suggests simple ways to connect. Seniors and their families can watch the same movie in their respective homes but stay on the phone with each other to chat. Or they can set up a time to discuss the movie afterwards. The same concept works with books, too.
“You have to create common, shared experiences, whether it be reading a book or watching a movie,” says Tamblyn Watts. “Crosswords, Sudoku and word puzzles are also great to do together and can be super lowtech since lots of our older populations get the newspaper. If you’re both looking at the same puzzles, it can be a fun way to have your morning coffee.”
If both parties have chess boards, Tamblyn Watts also suggests playing a game of chess over the phone. Simple online platforms for backgammon, chess or bridge can also be used and can be made more interactive by talking over the phone while playing online.
Local community organizations are also developing resources for seniors to connect with each other. In May, the YMCA of Greater Toronto launched an online community called the Bright Spot offering virtual fitness classes and conversation groups over Zoom, each hosted by a local YMCA co-ordinator. Adela Colhon is the general manager of the YMCA of Greater Toronto and hosts online conversation groups about once a day.
“We identified a need to support older adults even before the crisis started,” Colhon says. “Our older community members face challenges connecting with friends and loved ones.”
The Bright Spot also offers a virtual chat service to help seniors master Zoom along with online “tech basics” meetups to cover topics like online banking, online shopping and familiarity with YouTube. “Technology is a concern for many seniors but we have seen so many seniors already on the site,” says Colhon. “They are accessing technology and many of them are very computer-savvy.”
Sometimes, it might take the guidance of adult children to get their senior parents online. Genya Masri, 69, usually meets with her Ukrainian choir once a week and with a group of retired teachers once a month. But it was through the encouragement of her millennial-aged children that Masri was able to move her community groups online over Zoom.
“I was hearing about my son and daughter having meetings through Zoom and they told me it was actually very easy,” says Masri. “They counselled me through it and gave me confidence.”
Masri now co-ordinates Zoom meetings for both her choir and retired teachers group. She also coaches other seniors in her groups, some as old as 90, in how to get on Zoom. “It takes support and a lot of patience,” Masri says. “You just have to hold on and not say anything so that they can try again until they succeed.”
“Social isolation is one of the biggest issues facing older people.”
LAURA TAMBLYN SENIORS’ ADVOCATE