Was she only in it for the oysters and truffle fries?
Jack is a 51-year-old salesperson who lives in the west end. He says, “I work out regularly and am in above-average shape for my age. Still have a full head of hair. Not grey. I take care of how I look, dress and present myself to the world.” Jack says his friends would describe him as “honest, kind and determined.” He likes spending time with his adult children, who “are doing fantastic.” He says, “I have beaten cancer and a heart scare in my early 40s that was due to stress over my divorce.” He likes to go on long hikes and says, “When it isn’t COVID, you’ll find me at the gym, playing soccer every weekend and playing hockey year-round.” Jack has had one serious relationship since his divorce.
One Sunday afternoon, before COVID-19, I was helping my friends move. They flip houses. One of them asked me if it was OK to do a “thank you” post on Instagram and I said sure. She has a lot of followers.
My friend took a picture of me from my own social media and posted a very nice thank you. What she didn’t tell me is that she was going to add the fact that I was single. Monday comes around and I started texting with a woman who saw the post and messaged me. She seemed interesting. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Courteney seemed to have a good head on her shoulders and was very easy to talk to. She had a good sense of humour and was able to roll with my sarcastic humour.
There were a lot of different pictures on her Instagram that allowed me to see who she was: active, intelligent, well-travelled, a foodie. That was enough to go on for a first date.
We agreed to meet for drinks the following weekend. That day I went to the gym, showered up and had dinner. I arrived on time. Courteney was a very fit brunette. Very attractive. She was fully decked out in designer labels.
I hadn’t asked how old she was when we were chatting online and she hadn’t volunteered that information, and it turned out she was only 35 to my 50.
We ordered drinks and started to get to know each other, but the real-life conversation didn’t spark much interest for me, likely due to the age gap. She spent most of the date talking about herself and hardly asked me any questions.
She’s single, never married, doesn’t have kids and is also only 35. She’s still in the party stage of her life. She seemed preoccupied with name dropping, where she spends her weekends in the summer and her view on life in general, which did not jive with mine in terms of politics, career, ambitions.
I really do get all of that, it’s just too different. I knew 20 minutes in that this was going to be the first and last date. What happened next confirmed that decision. I was taken aback when she was on her second drink and ordered a dozen oysters and truffle fries. We had agreed on a drinks date, not dinner, and she ordered an entire meal! Not to mention a meal that included some of the most expensive items on the menu. She didn’t offer to share.
At one point I asked her if I could have a fry.
When we were done, I asked for the bill and Courteney quickly became very tired, yawning right in front of me. I went to the men’s room and, when I came back, Courteney was standing beside the table holding the bill, which she handed to me before walking away. I had to pay at the bar to catch up with her.
I drove her back to her condo and we hugged goodbye. She gave me a kiss on the cheek. As I drove back home that night I realized what had just happened. She was in it for the meal! It was a “foodie call.”
I’ve since been told that some single women utilize this type of date for free food. I felt played and set up. I don’t know if that was her intention, but that’s what it felt like.
I never spoke to, texted or saw her again. I also never date anyone more than eight years younger than me.
We live and learn, and this was a good lesson learned!
Jack rates his date (out of 10): 1