A normal date or a Valentine’s surprise …
Stacey knew Mario was not a romantic, but put on sexy lingerie anyway
Stacey is a 29-year-old production assistant who lives in Queen West. Her style is “work casual,” but she says, “I just started putting more effort into my wardrobe. I used to wear black, white, tan and olive, and now I’m buying colours. I want to look trendy and desirable.” Before COVID, she liked getting her nails done and “saying yes to every invite, to the point of burnout.” Now, Stacey spends a lot of time working out “to get my body in the best shape possible” and says, “I used to go to concerts or music events every weekend. Instead, I’ve been rediscovering my artistic side. I dabble in painting and furniture restoration.”
Mario was so different than me. A bit too different.
I always grumble about how Valentine’s Day is a stupid, made-up holiday. If you feel good on Valentine’s Day, it’s because you have a committed person in your life. If you feel like crap, it’s because you’re alone or don’t know where you stand with the person you’re seeing.
A couple of years ago, when I was dating Mario, I knew he wasn’t good at things like Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t even sure where we stood in terms of celebrating Valentine’s Day together. He casually asked me to come over to his place that night, but I wasn’t sure how to navigate the invite. Was it a normal day to him or Valentine’s? Then he said he wanted to take me to dinner, so I thought, great! We have a plan.
I thought that the girl’s job on Valentine’s was to wear sexy lingerie, so I dug out my red-lace bra and black-lace bottoms, and wore that under a tight dress. I felt absolutely ridiculous, but I wanted to look good for any venue that we were going to.
I showed up at Mario’s place on Valentine’s Day with a bottle of red wine in hand. When I arrived, I noticed that he wasn’t dressed up at all. In fact, he was wearing the same outfit that I had seen him in that morning, which indicated to me that he hadn’t even showered.
He commented on how good I looked and I was happy that he noticed.
We sat around for a little while, casually chatting, before I started to get antsy. I suggested we open the bottle of wine. We both finished a glass and I noticed that it was going to my head super quick. I asked about our dinner plans. He said “Oh, yeah, I guess we should eat. I can make something.”
I was surprised. “I want to take you out” kind of implies that you’re actually going to go out. I asked him if we were still going out and he said that he was short on money. I understood and instantly offered to pay, which he said no to, and then I suggested that we order in instead. He insisted that he would make us something. I understand more than most what it’s like to be broke, but why offer in the first place if you can’t afford it?
Mario started putting together some kind of meal in the kitchen. I put on music to fill the awkward silence. I was hugely regretting my outfit decision and I was feeling a bit disappointed that we weren’t going out. I had looked forward to it all day.
After some time, Mario came back into the living room and lit a candle. I was happy there was some effort being made on his part. Can you tell just how low my expectations were?! Then he brought out the meal. It was literally just frozen food he had heated up.
I ate quietly and continued to drink my wine. We didn’t talk much throughout dinner because I was trying not to cry. I am not materialistic, but I am someone who appreciates the little things. Even a homemade card would have been awesome.
After dinner, Mario cleaned up in the kitchen while I put on a movie. When he came back he started kissing me without warning, making me spill my wine on my dress. He didn’t even apologize and said that he wanted me to take it off anyway.
Instead, I got up, collected my stuff and ordered an Uber. No part of this Valentine’s Day was what I had hoped it would be.
Stacey rates her date (out of 10): 3