Guess I should cut to the chase
It would be impossible to hazard a guess as to how many of my words you’ve read in print since I started my journalism career 27 years ago.
I’ll just go with a Seems about right.
In print you’ve seen my work in a variety of sizes – short briefs, stories ranging from 400 to 700 words, longer feature stories and stories that run over multiple issues as part of a series.
Away from print, I’ll admit my stories tend to be long when I’m telling them to friends and family. I probably drag things out more than I should and provide more detail than necessary.
Other times I’m accused of not giving enough information. My gazillion. kids will sometimes challenge me by saying I never told them something that I’m certain I did.
“You never said that,” they’ll say.
“Yes, I did.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did.”
“No, you didn’t.”
It’s often a toss up. Did I really not say it, or were they just zoning me out and not listening?
I get much of the latter from time to time from my boys. I’ll be telling what I feel is a very interesting story only to get a variety of responses at the very end of it. These responses can include, but are not limited to, the following: “Huh?”
“Did you say something?” “Were you talking to me?” “Sorry, I wasn’t listening.” And then there are the times I am expecting a response from them at the end of my story. As I wait they give me a confused “What???” expression, which is short for: “Mom, I wasn’t listening to a word you were saying because your stories are too long so why are you now staring at me waiting for me to say something?”
Recently I was driving with my son Justin to town. We were talking about TV shows and movies and how I often cry through a lot of them. Justin was saying he doesn’t get why I cry so much when I’m watching a TV show or movie.
I told him about this one particular show I had watched about 15 years ago – based on a true story – that really made me cry. I went on and on and on ( and on and on), summarizing everything that had happened. When I finished I looked at him waiting for him to respond.
What I got instead was the “What???” expression.
He then told me my stories are too long and he had tuned me out about four minutes earlier. He suggested I’d be better off to give abbreviated story versions in as few words as possible.
Like the 140 characters Twitter, I asked? He nodded.
So I said, “Watched a show. It was sad. Hashtag: heartbreaking. Hashtag: cried a lot. Hashtag: bawled my head off.” That’s more like it, he told me. A few minutes later as we drove I hesitated as we approached a set of traffic control lights at a construction zone given the gap between me and the cars ahead. As a result we watched the light turn from green to red.
I looked at him and said, “Hashtag: Probably could have made it. Hashtag: now we wait.”
Apparently my new form of storytelling had already run its course.
His response? “Hashtag: that got old fast.” of