The gifts we give to others
Over the last few weeks I have made suggestions for both activities and gifts. My motivation was two-fold. Yes, I wanted you to think about buying local, but I also wanted you to embrace the spirit of the season.
I insist that this season is not about gifts and money. It is a time for reflection, counting blessings and reaching out to each other to share each other’s company.
Seasonal depression is real and has many causes. It is important that we understand this entity.
The stress of the holidays triggers great sadness and depression for many people. This time of year is especially difficult because there’s an expectation of feeling merry and generous. People compare their emotions to what they assume others are experiencing or what they’re supposed to feel. Then they think that they alone fall short. They judge themselves and feel like an outsider.
There are a host of things that add to stress and difficult emotions during the holidays. They include finances, stress, loneliness, grief, estrangement, divorce, or unreasonable self expectations. I am not talking about SAS, seasonal affective disorder, as many people experience the blues during gloomy weather due to decreased sunlight, but situations that each and every one of us can have that can have an impact for the betterment of others.
I collect stories. Let me share some stories. The first is of a woman who lost the love of her life in his 99th year. She was much younger and was now alone as her children from her first marriage were far away. His birthday was Dec 24. As she sat in her home, alone, she saw no reason to keep going. She reluctantly agreed to let a persistent friend take her to the Weymouth Festival of Trees. She loved the cider, was overwhelmed by the beauty, but most of all she made some connections. She was invited to holiday events and volunteer opportunities presented themselves. I am happy to report that she is still with us and enjoying life.
The second is a story about a woman who left an extremely abusive relationship after 31 years. She had hung in there for her children, who now had no time for her as they bought the abuser’s mantra. When she left him she was truly homeless, sleeping in a non-functional car until her church family and a very dynamic priest found her a place to live. Her home was, at that time, devoid of any Christmas, but again the church family dropped off a tree, decorations and food. She was so very ill then, so alone and lost. The beautiful tree had no presents. She was grateful, but why had they done this? In her opinion she was not valuable.
Then there appeared two gifts – one a stocking from Bethany Place and another after mass. Her church family has now found valu- able opportunities for her to give back. Again I am happy to report she is still with us and has taken on many volunteer roles that support others.
The third is of a man who relocated here after a traumatic life in other jurisdictions. For Christmas he went to Subway for a turkey sandwich. He had no one. Yet people who he met opened their doors to him and invited him to their celebrations. Again he is still with us and has had such a positive impact as a volunteer.
These people still live. My message is clear – each gave back. In this time of love, understanding and reconciliation we do not know how our gifts of caring, understanding will enhance lives.