This room is your room: Just like Aidaen would have wanted
Parents hope Aidaen Mae Wellness Room helps many young people
Some kids have stopped in to play video games. Some to watch movies. Some to do homework.
No matter their reason for being here, every young person who walks through the doors of the Aidaen Mae Wellness Room makes Kelly Mitchell’s heart leap.
It is exactly what she wanted to see happen with the room that bears her daughter’s name.
Aidaen Mae Mitchell, 14, died earlier this year. The room named after her at Tri County Mental Health and Wellness’s drop-in centre at 101 Water St. in Yarmouth — that oozes Aidaen’s personality — has created a place for young people, aged 12 to 15, to come to.
They can talk, or not. There is no pressure.
It’s a place to decompress and a place to not feel alone.
Asked what she hopes the biggest takeaway of the room will be, Kelly Mitchell says she hopes it shows the community there is a need for this type of resource for this age group. She’s already said one day she’d like to see this purple room become a purple house.
“And people need to realize that when you’re having any problems with your mental health, the biggest part of your mental wellness isn’t about going to a therapist or a counsellor, that’s part of it, and it is important. And yes, there may be medications. But if you don’t have somebody also teaching you how to decompress, letting you unwind and teaching you how to take care of yourself and take time for yourself, all of those other things aren’t going to help,” Mitchell says.
“Aidaen was very honest to tell us, ‘this counselling doesn’t work,’ or ‘this treatment doesn’t work,’ and I think that’s because the other portion of it was missing.”
A LABOUR OF LOVE
Mitchell and her husband Scott have poured their hearts into this room, and also in their training to become peer supporters for parents. Their hope for the potential of this resource — and as a compliment to the drop-in centre itself — can be found in every brush stroke of paint they added to the walls. In every string of lights they hung that shine bright. In the motivational quotes that adorn the walls.
Mitchell excitedly posts updates about the room to the Aidaen Mae Wellness Room Facebook group where lots of info about the room can be found, including its hours. There is also opportunity for feedback and input.
“I cannot explain the feeling I had when we had three youth at the center tonight,” Mitchell posted one evening soon after the room had opened. “One was doing homework and two were gaming, watching Netflix, colouring, snacking and just spending quality time lounging. This is what it is all about. I feel so blessed tonight!”
ABOUT AIDAEN
Aidaen was an active volunteer in the community and an athlete. She worked summers at Camp Peniel Christian Camp, loved her Wesleyan Church youth group, and was a devoted member of the MGEC Memorial Club. She cherished family, friends, animals and music. The happiness and well-being of others meant a lot to her.
But Aidaen struggled with her own happiness and well-being.
“Aidaen’s ongoing battle with her own mental health was deeper than anyone could have imagined,” her obituary read. “She fought her own battles every day until she could no longer fight.”
Aidaen struggled with a borderline personality disorder (BPD), her mom says.
At a point in her life she had turned to cutting herself.
“We got her away from that, but then she had gotten into a couple of overdoses with prescription medications. Always very easy things that weren’t very damaging. And we were working at that and she felt most days she was getting better,” her mom says. “She felt like she was going in the right direction, but her final overdose was on a medication that shut every organ down in her body ... Was it accidentally, possibly? Was it intentional? Possibly. At the moment she took them it could have been very intentionally, but with BPD the next moment it could have been ‘I don’t want to die,’ so that part of it we’ll never have an answer to.”
TO HELP OTHERS
As much as you can feel Aidaen’s presence in this room, this place is not about Aidaen, her mom says. It’s about helping other young people.
On the day of the official opening Mitchell was emotional, but she wasn’t feeling anxiety. Rather she was excited.
“I think that’s because of the positivity that comes from it,” she said. Pulling the room together was also therapeutic.
“This room is pretty much designed after what Aidaen’s room would have been. Everything in her room was purple, chalkboard walls. Lights everywhere,” Mitchell says.
“Her room to her was the most comfortable place in the whole world. She had her TV. She had her gaming system. She slept on a sofa even though she had a bed. So it’s that same feeling of coming into her room.”
And that’s the goal — to make young people feel at ease.
“That’s all we wanted. A comfortable spot where they can come in and sit down and enjoy it and relax,” Mitchell says. Yes, there are rules to follow, but the young people are encouraged to do their own thing. Sometimes there will be structured activities, such as a meal night, or helping young people to organize their thoughts in a journal. But no matter what happens, there is one thing that is consistent.
Says Aidaen’s mom: “It’s their spot. It’s their place.”
And if this room can help others, that’s just what Aidaen would have wanted, too.