An April Fools’ Day warning!

I write to advise you not to try to trick a family member or friend with an April Fools’ Day prank.

You know the drill. On April 1st, just a week away now, you tell or write an outrageous lie that causes amazement or consternation to someone, then after noon you confess it was all just a trick. From my painful experience, it will fail dismally!

A few years ago, Jan and I were vacationing in Spain. I decided to email an April Fools’ Day lie to our two daughters. They had visited us in our rented holiday apartment for the March break. They knew I enjoyed being an extra on TV and in movies. My illustrious roles have ranged from a dead man in a casket to a Norwegian priest to a drunk convict (“Trailer Park Boys”). So I used this to plan my prank.

I wrote that I had been cast as an extra in an Antonio Banderas movie. My imagined plot had Banderas play an injured bullfighter, and Spanish extras and I were to rush into the ring to help carry him off. I excitedly awaited the girls’ replies.

Tamara, our youngest, a school counsellor: “Oh, Dad! Don’t you dare get into a bull ring with a ferocious bull. You could be gored. Or killed! Please, please promise me that you’ll reject that role. I’m surprised that Mum would let you do anything so dangerous!”

Lenore, our oldest, an awardwinning actress prior to her successful MLA career: “Oh, that’s great, Dad! Antonio Banderas is my favourite actor! Make sure you get his autograph for me. Please, Dad. Don’t forget.”

Ouch! Explanations and apologies were immediately emailed, and huge disappointments resulted. No more tricks the next year. I had learned my lesson. Or so I thought.

Two years later found us back in Spain. The visit that our girls had made previously had been spent mostly on the little beach in front of our apartment on the Costa del Sol. Knowing how much they loved the coastal area, I decided to trick them by telling them that we had bought a rural villa far removed the coast. They would hate that.

“Mum and I have bought a cheap villa in the country! It has a yard with olive trees, two orange trees, and three peach trees. AND there’s a tiny donkey (they call them burros over here). Her hair is turning gray. She has a long mane, and one eye that keeps blinking so that she seems to be winking at you. Her name is Estrellita (means little star). Mum is out in the yard feeding her an apple right now.”

And I waited for the disappointed replies.

Lenore: “Oh, Dad, I can’t wait to visit you again! It will be wonderful to eat fresh oranges and peaches picked right off the trees. They’ll be sweeter and juicier than the store-bought ones we get here. Can’t wait!”

Tamara: “The little burro sounds so cute. Is she tame enough to let me pat her? I’ll feed Little Star as many apples as she’ll eat every day. I’m so pleased you didn’t buy in the village, Dad.”

Get the picture?

Resist April Fools’ Day pranks like the plague or Spanish flu. You will very soon find out who the April Fool is!