Anger explodes in words, deeds woman later regrets
DEAR ABBY: I am 28 and I’m disgusted with myself about how I talk to my mother when I’m stressed out. My other issue is road rage. When I’m behind the wheel and the cars ahead of me are going too slow or the drivers make stupid moves, I’m annoyed to the point that I sometimes take risky chances to get away from them. I sometimes wonder why my parents didn’t teach me ways to tone down my anger when I was younger. Do you have any tips on how to control my temper? — SIMMERING IN SUBURBIA
DEAR SIMMERING: If you think you are alone in having these issues, you are mistaken. If, however, you continue allowing your stress to dictate your behaviour, it may eventually drive a wedge between you and the people you care about.
It’s important that you realize anger is a normal emotion. Recognizing what is causing your stress and anger can help you to avoid taking it out on others.
It takes self-control — and maturity — to react calmly. Being able to identify what’s triggering the anger and causing you to verbalize it can help to prevent an outburst. Instead say, “When you do or say that, it makes me angry.” Then go for a walk to help you to regain your perspective. Developing the ability to do this will not only lessen your guilt but also earn you the respect of those with whom you interact. My Anger Booklet contains many suggestions for managing and constructively expressing anger in various situations. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address plus a cheque or money order for US$7 to Dear Abby — Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill., 610540447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. As to your “over the top” reactions when you are in your car driving, try to remember that we are all human and make mistakes.
If you must drive during rush hours, try listening to music or an audio book. And count to 10 before you hit the accelerator. Avoid blasting the horn or making rude gestures. People who lose control not only can get hurt in a variety of ways but also hurt others.
We are living in a time when the anger level in our society has reached new heights. Perhaps constructive anger management should be taught in schools to help people more effectively communicate in a healthy manner.