Girl feels like Cinderella in ‘boys club’ household

DEAR ABBY: I live with my dad and my brother. My mother passed away when I was very young, and I was pretty much raised by my dad (with the help of family, of course).

Dad always took great care of me, or so I thought when I was younger. Now that I am older, I realize he has made me the little “domestic” of his house. He makes me do dishes, clean my room, and he badgers me about my weight. He says if I would just lose weight, guys would love me.

He goes out with my older brother to baseball games, car shows and just about anywhere else. I’m not included. I don’t mind doing my share of housework, but it has become unfair. My brother is only a few years older than I am, yet he has almost no responsibilities, and dad gives him everything (his old car, pays to go to baseball games, dinner, etc.) while I must buy my necessities.

I know dad loves and cares about me, but over the last year or two I feel it’s gotten worse. When I bring up the inequality between my brother and me, he claims I’m being “dramatic” or that I have many females in my life who compensate for him. I think he has some sexist ideas, and I don’t know how to address it with him. — ANONYMOUS IN THE EAST

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Your father appears to have created a “boys club” with your sibling that you aren’t welcome to join, and badgering you about your weight is not only cruel but counterproductive.

Because you have “many females in your life who compensate for him,” marshal your army and confront him together about how he is treating you. Perhaps if he hears a chorus he will pay attention. It’s worth a try. However, if that doesn’t raise his consciousness, consider making other living arrangements as soon as you are 18.