Red ags remain in romance that returns after 47 years

DEAR ABBY: I have rekindled a romance from my youth. “Jerry” and I were engaged to be married 47 years ago, but I felt he was too worldly and fast for me, so I broke o the engagement. I later married and had a happy marriage for 36 years until my husband died.

Jerry found me on Facebook and started writing. Abby, he has been married and divorced ve times. We eventually got together and have been seeing each other for almost two years now. He wants us to get married, but I am again hesitant because our lifestyles are so vastly di erent. I enjoy spending time with him, but I’m also glad when he leaves. Many times I wish I had never answered his rst letter. On the other hand, I have had some great times with him. We are so di erent in many ways — I’m not sure I can put up with some of the things he says and does.

What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I make up my mind what to do? I have broken up with him twice, but he manages to work his way back into my life. Please tell me what I should do or how to know what is right for me. — REKINDLED ROMANCE

DEAR REKINDLED: Listen closely to your intuition. If you are enjoying the relationship as it is, you should keep it that way. Because you are happy when Jerry leaves and have doubts about being able to tolerate things he says and does, it would be a mistake to wed a man who has struck out at marriage ve times.

DEAR ABBY: After many years of scal responsibility, hard work and sacri ce, we are set to pay o the mortgage on our house this year. I want to throw an old-fashioned open house/home mortgage-burning party and burn the mortgage in the smoker after the turkey is done. My wife and I never had a reception after our wedding so long ago. I think we are due a party to celebrate this milestone.

My wife is against it. She says too many of our friends and family have nancial troubles and a mortgage-burning party would rub their noses in it. She has “loaned” her brother $50,000 over the years, and more to her friends. Most of them have yet to repay.

I think a mortgage- burning party would be an example for them to strive for and achieve, and we deserve to celebrate. Your answer will determine if we have the party. If you vote “yes,” you are invited. — BIG ACHIEVEMENT

DEAR BIG: As much as I’d like to attend your party, I have to vote with your wife. To invite guests whom you know are having money troubles to such an event would be insensitive.