‘First mourn, then work for change’
Community vigil held at Clock Park in Wolfville to end violence against women and girls
Ending gender-based violence is not simply a women’s issue: it’s a matter for all of society to embrace.
This is one message that organizers hope will resonate from a community vigil for ending violence against women and girls held at Clock Park in Wolfville on Nov. 27.
There were readings, singing, a spiral dance and a spoken word performance art piece called “The Web of Patriarchy” written by Laura Fisher, one of the organizers.
Fisher said she is a survivor of various forms of genderbased violence throughout her life and has been making speeches about women’s rights since she was 12.
“Having those experiences has made me realize that it’s present here, it’s present around us and many people just don’t know how to respond when it happens,” Fisher said.
Her daughter inspired her and helped write part of the performance art piece. Fisher said she thinks it’s really important that her daughter receives the message that gender-based violence has to end and that she has rights. Fisher is hopeful that such violence will end with her daughter’s generation.
Fisher hopes that people who attended the vigil would leave with the message that we have to consider our everyday interactions in a different light, that language matters and actions matter. She hopes people will think about supporting women’s organizations and other gender-support organizations in the Valley, such as the Youth Project, with their dollars, time and voices.
“A lot of people actually will turn away and be intimidated to speak up when the chance arises,” Fisher said.
Another point to consider is secondary trauma or secondary wounding, when families, communities, organizations or systems don’t believe or turn their backs on women suffering abuse. Fisher said this can be just as harmful, or more harmful, than the abuse itself.
Reverend Sandra Fyfe of St. John’s Anglican Church in Wolfville, one of the vigil organizers, said the 16 days of action for ending gender-based violence officially started Nov. 25, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. It ends on Dec. 10, International Human Rights Day.
Fyfe said that in talking about the vigil with a group of women, they realized that the roots of violence run deep. They wanted to address the issue of violence and underlying systemic issues such as gender stereotypes and gender inequality, for example.
Fyfe said that when the Montreal Massacre happened on Dec. 6, 1989, she was working at the Technical University of Nova Scotia in Halifax. It was a Wednesday and exam time.
“I remember they held a moment of silence because of the Montreal Massacre, before they wrote their exams,” Fyfe said.
“The women came to me and were noticeably upset, thinking the last thing we need before writing exams is a reminder of this kind of violence that’s just happened.”
Fyfe said the realization struck that if such violence could be committed at a post-secondary campus in Montreal, it could also happen here.
Fyfe said the matter is personal to her. She has a background working with women’s issues and sees Dec. 6, in particular, as an opportunity to draw attention to violence and the underlying conditions in society that enable it to continue. This date is recognized as Canada’s National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women.
She remembers a bookmark she picked up around the time of the shootings in Montreal that had a single red rose on it in remembrance of women who have died as a result of gender violence. The bookmark said, “First mourn, then work for change.” Fyfe said that line has been a source of challenge and inspiration for her over many years.
Fyfe said they recently had Chrysalis House executive director Ginger MacPhee at their church to speak on the subject of violence against women. MacPhee pointed out that one of the most important things we can do is take time to listen when women talk about their experiences. It’s important to show our concern and support and to believe them.
“Unless people know that they’re being heard and cared for and listened to, this really won’t change,” Fyfe said.