TASED AND CONFUSED

May 2008, written by Danielle Egan

I asked the RCMP to shoot me. It was 2008, a few months after Robert Dziekanski died, after being tasered by the RCMP. I filed a request to attend Taser training, which at that time included mandatory exposure (to 50,000 volts of electricity). I thought they’d say no and I’d get something on the record about potential dangers to civilians. To my shock, the Use of Force instructor agreed— tasering included. My editor loved the angle. As I geared up for that day, doing hair-raising scientific research on tasered pigs and watching too many tasering videos, the RCMP didn’t back out.

I showed up for training. The Use of Force instructor—I’ll call him UOF—said the tasering offer stood. I started to sweat when he passed around the barbed darts, displaying his numerous tasing scars. Would I risk muscle tear? A rogue shot to the eye or genitals? The rare chance of seizure or cardiac arrest? A lifetime of disappointment from my parents?

At lunch break, I choked down a muffin. Many hours later, live cartridges loaded, UOF said the RCMP’s lawyers wouldn’t allow a reporter to be tasered. I felt jilted. I said I’d sign a waiver. No deal. I did get some choice quotes. But I still wonder if I’d have done it, given the choice.— Danielle Egan, writer, 1997 to present