Aprowrestleronskates
Los Angeles forward Sean Avery is little more than a thug
MONTREAL
n mid-February 1991, during a less
sensible life as a part-time referee
for World Wrestling Entertainment, I sat in a Montreal Forum dressing room between the 553 pounds of Brian Yandrisovitz and Jerome Saganovich, listening as they scripted their tagteam match I was about to officiate — while they pondered how best to insult French-Canadians.
They were billed as Knobbs and Sags; collectively, the Nasty Boys. These human tanks were evil to the core, and they planned to generate some pre-match crowd heat by grabbing the microphone and insulting the Montreal Canadiens and the language of Moliere, if not in that order.
But they wanted to hurl this abuse in French and, inconveniently, neither native of Allentown, Pa., spoke a word.
So with a felt pen, I wrote a few short phrases on Sags’ forearm, a pithy critique of Montreal’s 7- 4 National Hockey League loss to the Boston Bruins two nights earlier. He and Knobbs got the desired result from the Forum fans, judging by the cups of beer sailing into the ring.
Which is to introduce Sean Avery of the Los Angeles Kings, a Nasty Boy in a smaller package — a pro wrestler on skates, the mouthy villain whose foreign object is his tongue, the heel at whom you might throw your beer if he wore tights.
Avery has leaked nonsense since training camp, when he used a broad brush to paint French-Canadians as gutless players who hide behind visors.
But shame on anyone who takes him any more seriously than they would Knobbs or Sags. Avery is less a racist than he is a loose cannon, curiously refreshing as an outrageous quote bobbing in a sea of cliches.
Remarkable, wasn’t it, that he overshadowed the final game here of gifted Montreal native Luc Robitaille, and the homecoming of former Canadiens goalie Mathieu Garon.
Avery was booed lustily at every occasion during Montreal’s 3- 2 victory, and it reached a joyful crescendo when he and Canadiens’ Sheldon Souray mixed it up and took roughing minors in the second period.
Not that fans could jeer his name — on both his penalty and second-period assist, Bell Centre announcer Michel Lacroix identified him only as “No. 19.”
(A fan’s sign behind the Kings bench read: “ Avery, The King of Pea Soup.” But elsewhere was a vote of support during the federal election campaign: “ Avery For Prime Minister.”)
“He’s one of the most hated guys on the ice,” said Canadiens defenceman Mathieu Dandenault, who drilled his former Detroit Red Wings teammate
Iwith a bodycheck late in the second period.
“He says stupid things sometimes, but he’s still a decent guy. He came to my wedding. But being a French-Canadian here, I took the opportunity when I had it. That was a good, clean hit.”
On his way into the arena, escorted by the Kings’ NHL security man, Avery dropped $10 into the pail of a youngster panhandling for his minor hockey team.
But the table had long been set for this game, many treating Avery’s antiFrench comments as political humiliation, including some who should know better.
Those absurd remarks are just a small part of his verbal incontinence, though words that will stoke a fire in Montreal if they’re fanned briskly enough. This city still heckles Toronto’s Eric Lindros, three teams and nearly 15 years since the Big E spurned the Quebec Nordiques at the 1991 Entry Draft.
Maybe it wasn’t by accident Avery played a few lockout games in the Finnish League for the Lahti Pelicans, a bird renowned for the enormity of its beak.
The furor that preceded Avery to Montreal is precisely what he wanted. If his lip served to distract one Canadien for one move on one shift, then his mission was accomplished, a timehonoured tactic of a player of marginal skill who knows his role.
Anti- French? No, more an equalopportunity disturber. On Friday in Ottawa, Avery separated Senators’ Czech goalie Dominik Hasek from his mask, then dropped his gloves with Mike Fisher in defence of francophone teammate Eric Belanger.
Friday and Saturday, Avery was on the team bus by the time the Kings dressing room was opened to the media. Maybe they can pry a word out of him in Toronto, where Los Angeles hopes to end a four-game losing streak Tuesday night.
In the dying seconds of the game, a small teddy bear, holding a fleur-de-lis flag, sailed over the Kings bench and onto the ice, just missing Avery. Its message seemed clear: Get stuffed.
But through 19 shifts and 15:13 on the ice, Avery was harmless fun for fans watching a game that won’t be recalled as a classic.
And for the record, Garon made 28 saves and future Hall of Famer Robitaille played for 12:07, taking two shots and blocking one. Canadiens fans would be better to remember having seen Lucky Luc’s last game in Montreal, rather than a pro wrestler in a Kings’ sweater. Montreal Gazette