Music’s positive influence
Sharing your teen’s musical tastes can open lines of communication
Millions of North Americans will tune into this weekend’s Grammy Awards to see who’s wearing whom, who’s with whom, and whether or not it really is All About That Bass. Among the viewers will be many parents who promised themselves as teens to never grow up and bemoan the music that “kids listen to these days.”
As father and uncle to two young girls, we admit to feeling a pang of concern when we hear some of the lyrics in today’s pop music. It’s probably a primal parental instinct to wish for a world where Pharrell Williams’ Happy is on permanent repeat.
We know that music has always pushed the boundaries of its era — from Elvis and The Beatles, to Janis Joplin and Nirvana. After all, we grew up on a healthy dose of Guns N’ Roses, and we turned out to be reasonably wellbehaved adults with an appreciation for air guitar. We’ve also seen the tremendous effect that music has on young people.
Music brings kids together, lifts their spirits, and inspires even the quietest among them to burst out in self-expression.
Many musicians we’ve met are conscious of their place as role models for young fans. Demi Lovato is open about her struggles with mental illness and speaks out against bullying. Canadian singer-songwriter Nelly Furtado is a global advocate for girls’ education. And hip-hop super-duo Macklemore and Ryan Lewis have told fans “the most fulfilling way to live life” is to be of service to others.
We’ve also found that music is the best way to open up a teen’s ears and start a conversation.
“Music connects people,” says Galina Mindlin, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University in New York. “For parents, it’s a great entry point to bonding with their children and fostering the connection that they strive to have.”
She strongly advocates that parents get to know and appreciate their kids’ musical tastes, and avoid jumping to judgment. Asking to hear their favourite song du jour and going to concerts together helps break down traditional parent-teen barriers. Sharing the music you loved at their age might help, too — if you can find a working record player (or even a CD player, for that matter.)
Personally, we’re confident that Guns N’ Roses’ Paradise City has stood the test of time.
Parents can also use music as a springboard to broach the issues of adolescence that are otherwise awkward and challenging. At this year’s Grammy Awards, for instance, Meghan Trainor’s All About That Bass can stir up a conversation about body image, and Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off is a great segue into resilience against bullying. These are the discussions that will help your kids fine-tune the critical thinking skills necessary to make their own informed opinions about media and peer pressure.
To amplify the positive influence of your kids’ love for music, encourage them to create it. New research suggests that kids who play musical instruments have better control over their emotions, less anxiety and stronger focus in school. Finding something they’re good at and enjoy — especially in a peer group like a choir or band — is a key way to build confidence and resilience to social pressures.
The highlights of watching this weekend’s Grammy festivities need not be limited to explaining the cultural importance of AC/ DC to the Beyoncé generation, or seeing if best-record nominee Sam Smith will sing Stay With Me with Tom Petty. If parents open their minds to the music their kids go gaga over, the best part may be a lasting bond.