Author-trainer gets the last laugh on working out
Want to fit into your speedo by summer? Then get a new one! Or consider Pumping Irony with author, fitness trainer and standup comic Andrew Ginsberg, who’s just released his new funny-filled fitness book on How to Build Muscle, Lose Weight, and Have the Last Laugh, with a few snarky reps thrown in.
Face it, we all know we should do it, but don’t. Could be that the monotony of doing repetition after repetition and not being able to check your smartphone every 10 seconds deters people from going to the gym, says Ginsberg. “Plus you have to push your muscles to the point of failure and exert the maximum amount of energy — compare that to watching Netflix with a fireplace going and you have Dante’s Ninth Circle of Hell.”
If you can’t get you off the couch, you are likely glued to it and your smartphone. Get unglued and have the last laugh by muscling in on the right workout and diet that is sustainable over time. Ginsberg takes aim at the garbage that corrupts the fitness industry — “diet fads, gimmicky dangerous workouts like CrossFit, and the spiritual elitism of the average yogi. I liked yoga back 10 years ago, when it was called stretching.”
He’s out to educate and eradicate misinformation out there: “Just turn on the news or read the paper and it changes by the day — broccoli fights cancer, broccoli cures cancer, broccoli is cancer!” says Ginsberg, who’s latest album, Eat the Yolk, debuted in the top 10 on iTunes Comedy Chart.
Stay clear of any diet ad or supplement that promises “Lose 10 pounds in 10 days” or “six-pack abs by sundown.” As sure as the sun sets, “it’s all total crap. There is no magic bullet. It takes time and hard work, like anything.” He comes down hard on the organic food industry. “There are tens of thousands of organic farms and very few companies that certify. So it’s the Wild West and nobody actually knows what has been tested for pesticides and hormones even though they are marked and sold organic at five times the price.”
Beware fake promises, false organic food claims and portly personal trainers:
“Why would anyone hire a fat personal trainer? That’s like going to a suicidal life coach! If I had a fat trainer, I wouldn’t believe one word he said. He’d be like ‘Do 10 pushups!’ and I’d be like ‘It’s not going to make me fat, is it?’ ”
Meanwhile, you may want to cry but the bottom line is that you have to invest time to muscle in on fitness: 40 minutes of weights four days a week and 20-30 minutes of cardio three days a week. Always do weights before cardio and utilize supersets in your weight workout where you go from one exercise to the next with no rest in between.
“Most people rest far too long between sets — they watch YouTube videos and text their friends. Catch your breath and get right back to it,” says Ginsberg, who’s won numerous natural bodybuilding titles by doing it the healthy way — actually eating food and avoiding any risky supplements or drugs.
Ginsburg is all about treating each physique as an art project — “the body is the canvas, the weights are the paintbrushes, and the food is the paint.”
And speaking of food, one cheat day a week is allowed with unhealthy foods.
Keep in mind that the five worst foods you can eat are:
Fettuccine alfredo
General Tso’s Chicken
Processed meats, i.e. hotdogs, sausages, bacon
Potato chips
Doughnuts