ABANDONING PINK AND BLUE
British school experiments with gender neutrality
When Leni Boudewijn discovered that she was expecting a girl, she prepared a pink-themed nursery. Then, when Lily was an infant, she plied her with what she describes as “pink, frilly stuff.” It was an unconscious decision and one Leni had never questioned, until her daughter recently started to reprimand her. “The other day I called her ‘princess’ and she corrected me,” says Leni, 33. “She’ll remind me if I say something that isn’t gender neutral.”
Lily’s sudden awakening is the result of a controversial experiment. She is one of a class of 23 seven-year-old boys and girls from Lanesend Primary School on the Isle of Wight, just off the English south coast, to have spent a term “gender neutral” — with all differences in the way the sexes are treated removed. The aim was to see whether such an approach could even out disparities in the children’s confidence and abilities. The results will be shown in a two-part BBC Two documentary, No More Boys and Girls: Can Our Kids Go Gender Free?
In the program, Dr. Javid Abdelmoneim introduces gender neutral bathrooms and persuades parents to pack away their daughters’ dolls. Signs reading “girls are strong” and “boys are sensitive” are hung on walls, while books featuring passive princesses and aggressive superheroes are scrapped.
It is a provocative experiment at a time when the issue of gender in childhood has become increasingly contentious. Last year, Caroline Jordan, president of the British Girls’ Schools Association, said teachers should consider using gender neutral language, and many schools are introducing gender neutral uniform policies. Children, it seems, are becoming increasingly preoccupied with gender identity, with a marked rise in the number saying they identify as being either of the opposite sex, or of no sex at all.
Critics, meanwhile, claim the experiment places an unhealthy emphasis on gender, at an age when children are too young to ask questions. Mary Douglas, a Conservative Party councillor, has labelled it “abusive” and “inappropriate,” and says: “Children in particular are very vulnerable and susceptible to what adults say. To even suggest that he or she might not be essentially male or female is potentially very harmful.”
To which Abdelmoneim responds strongly: “One, this is absolutely not about gender identity. Two, in no way could you imagine anyone ever trying to steer children in a way that’s harmful. We’re talking about the BBC. I’m a doctor. Their parents and teachers were involved. Three, watch the program and then if you still want to hold that view — well, then you’re daft.”
The documentary is predicated on Abdelmoneim’s belief that boys’ and girls’ brains are almost identical. He is backed by Prof. Gina Rippon, a neuroscientist at Aston University in Birmingham, England, who insists nurture, not nature, makes girls love dolls and boys like Lego.
“You start to say that if the biology is that similar, where do these differences come from? And there were differences,” says Abdelmoneim.
Psychometric tests at the start of the experiment certainly show a stark divide. The boys are less able to express their emotions but more confident in their abilities, while the girls have lower self-esteem and a lesser ability to process numbers and shapes. All but one girl believe boys are “better” than them. One pupil, Kara, says “girls are better at being pretty” while another, Tiffany, declares “men are better at being in charge.” The boys are similarly old-fashioned: little Louis says “girls look after the child and boys do lots of cool stuff,” while Bradley declares “men are more successful because they could have harder jobs.”
Graham Andre, the class teacher, and Caroline Sice, the principal, both admit they were “shocked” by the results — not least because Sice had already attempted to improve equality in the school with talks on inspirational women and mixed sports teams.
“I thought our children would be all right. But their mind set was very fixed,” she admits. Abdelmoneim says enforced gender roles start from birth with ubiquitous pink and blue congratulatory cards and “accumulate insidiously through the years with advertising, toys, clothing and our own attitudes.”
Meanwhile, Lily seems exempt from the crisis sweeping her female classmates. Described as “outgoing” by Leni, a single mother who runs a bakery business, she wants to be a lawyer and didn’t think there was any disparity between girls and boys before the experiment. “I thought they were equal,” she tells me.
Another participant to have their eyes opened was Lily’s teacher Andre, an affable man who would call his female pupils “sweet pea” and the boys “mate.” Abdelmoneim tasked him to abandon the sexist prefixes, and he admits that listening back to himself on the program made him “cringe.”
One of the biggest upheavals comes when Abdelmoneim tells parents to bag up their children’s toys — a decision that is met with a wobbling lip by one princess-loving girl and incredulity by the mother of a boy who she says, despite her best efforts, has gravitated towards guns. It turns out Abdelmoneim doesn’t advocate dumping them, however. There was, he says, “a bit of a pinch of salt for TV to make it dramatic” adding “truthfully, it’s not about taking things away but ensuring balance.”
More contentious is the decision to introduce unisex bathrooms. Andre has said the parents were unhappy and the old system has since been restored.
Three months after the cameras left, Andre has had a chance to reflect. He now firmly believes gender neutrality “is something we need to look at as a country and somehow get into the curriculum.”
The risk is creating an issue around gender in schools where none exists. That said, the supremely confident Lily is more ambitious than ever.
“She realizes she can achieve more and be stronger,” says Leni.
To critics, Abdelmoneim adds: “This is about giving children a full development so they can achieve absolutely anything they want. I’d challenge any sane and sensible adult to say we don’t want that.”
One, this is absolutely not about gender identity. Two, in no way could you imagine anyone ever trying to steer children in a way that’s harmful . ... Three, watch the program and then if you still want to hold that view — well, then you’re daft.