Moving through misconceptions
Boys, too, can dance and should be allowed to do so, experts say
My friend’s young son quit dance recently. The 10-year-old loved jazz and ballet — not anymore. “It’s for sissies,” he ranted.
The teasing took its toll. We still hear it all the time — girls should take ballet and boys should do sports.
The machismo we can’t shake limits possibilities. Dance is as athletic as soccer, basketball and hockey — but entrenched gender biases deem it an inappropriately feminine pursuit for boys and men.
Kirsten McGoey’s middle son loves ballet and tap. “He loves pink, he loves ponies, he loves sparkles and rainbows, to dance, sing, twirl … he says he loves them because they’re awesome,” says McGoey, a photographer who is crushing gender biases one click at a time.
Her #aboycantoo photo series features boys ages four to 18 who love to dance ballet, play with dolls, paint their nails, bake, figure skate and more.
“These boys are influencers and they don’t see the world as other people do,” McGoey says. “They like what they like and don’t identify male or female to their choices.”
Society’s narrow lens be damned — gender stereotypes are taught, so too an open-minded view to the aspirations and activities boys and girls are suited for, says McGoey.
“They can teach us so much. They’re providing inspiration for other #aboycantoo boys all over the world,” including Sweden, where her photos will be in an exhibition starting next month.
According to psychologist Dr. Karen Habib, “in a patriarchy, anything related to women or femininity is devalued or sexualized. So boys or men who engage in those types of behaviours are also devalued, criticized, and/or bullied because they challenge the status quo.”
Challenging prevailing gender norms is going to take courage, says Habib. “Boys need to be told that this is not about their interests, but about other people’s limitations.”
Joey Arrigo, a dancer, knows all about turning gender norms on their heads.
His mother enrolled him at age three to develop co-ordination and body awareness. Now 25, his movements continue to open minds and shape the new status quo.
You may recognize him from So You Think You Can Dance Canada. He travelled the world with Bad Boys of Dance. He is now the lead performer in Cirque du Soleil’s production of Volta, in which he plays the central character, Waz. The role is themed around selfacceptance and finding yourself after being led astray by outside influences like social media and restrictive societal expectations.
Dancing against the grain wasn’t easy. Ballet classes got him ridiculed and teased during middle school — “kids would tell me that what I was doing was wrong or it was for girls. But definitely those memories have been super suppressed in my mind because of all the happiness and the joy that dancing and performing have brought me over the years.”
Don’t let others limit your reach, Arrigo says: “It doesn’t matter what other people think; it matters what you want. Laugh and dance and keep doing what you love. If deep inside your heart is telling you to dance then you have to dance, you have to dance!”