Churches offer services for people who find Christmas gives them the blues
Those grieving loss or just feeling stress can seek solace, find quiet reflection
There often aren’t a lot of silent nights come the Christmas season.
For those grieving a loss, depressed, emotionally strung out or just plain stressed, churches all over the Lower Mainland offer a place of solace, a piece of solitude even from the mad-cap running around, commercialism and forced get-togethers.
The services go by various names: Blue Christmas, Longest Night of the Year, the Long Dark Time. That they are held on or close to the Dec. 21 winter solstice, the darkest day of the year, is symbolic but also purposeful.
“It’s the least amount of daylight of the year,” said pastor Rhoda Klein Miller of Oakridge Adventist Church. “The days are dark, that resonates with how people are feeling.
“Some people are experiencing some type of loss. Maybe it was a job, an investment or, most dramatically, a loved one or something that once gave them joy.
“With all the holly-jolly, they feel particularly isolated and disconnected from culture and society.”
Whatever the disconnect is, people find refuge at Blue Christmas services, a place to share a quiet little Christmas.
“People see the Christmas cards, the lights, the carols, family photos, those things can really sting a person suffering a deep loss,” the Oakridge Adventist pastor said. “You can still experience the holiday, but in a solemn, more comforting place. Sometimes the joyfulness and celebrations have too strong a tone. Blue Christmas provides a more stripped-back place, a raw environment to light a candle, smell the incense, pray, just be more mellow.”
Sometimes a couple who have lost a baby, say, come for the comfort and end up as members of the congregation. But even those who have not suffered a loss can be frazzled and at the end of their rope at this time of year. They could use some quiet contemplation, some retreat from shopping and gift wrapping.
“It’s a bittersweet time of year for most people,” said Jane Sidjak, pastor for children’s ministries at West Vancouver Baptist Church. “Christmas is a joyful time and because it’s so joyful any loss suffered throughout the year colours that joyfulness.
“It’s not a huge service, it doesn’t draw crowds, reaches a smaller demographic,” she said. “But I think it can grow as more commercialism and more materialism grows around the world.
“We’re seeing more people seeking a more reflective place, somewhere with the right kind of meaning, a safe place to show up rather than being at the office Christmas party.”
Sometimes a person will come back and say a Blue Christmas service made all the difference in the world, that it saved them, said Rev. Judith Hardcastle of St. Andrew’s United Church in North Vancouver.
“You just never know,” she said. “For many people Christmas is not exactly a time of joy and peace for a lot of reasons, they’ve all sorts of losses and challenges. Attending a Blue Christmas service gives them hope in a quiet and thoughtful way rather than a joyous one.
“They’re hopeful, but low-key. It’s a time for quiet reflection.”
St. Andrew’s runs the Blue Christmas services in conjunction with the Anglican and Lutheran churches in North Vancouver. As at other similar services around the Lower Mainland, the crowds are significantly smaller than the packed pews seen at Christmas Eve services.
“It’s very intimate and there is time to talk afterward,” Hardcastle said. “We’re trying to say there is light in the darkness, that there is hope and that God’s hope shines through,” she said.
A chance, while all may not be bright, to find some calm ahead of the holy night.