Plunging into frigid water certainly one way to leave comfort zone
Hannah Maia decided a year-long cold-water swimming adventure would be a great way to get to know herself again. My Big White Thighs and Me is the result. Dana Gee talked to the English filmmaker.
Q Why did you want to make this movie?
A To start with, it was a personal project to help me heal from a recent miscarriage and provide me with a reason to keep up my two passions: getting outside and being creative. At my lowest point I found myself feeling too fat to go for a swim in the hotel pool whilst on holiday ... a feeling that was so intense, and at the same time so frustrating. I was annoyed that I was allowing bullshit societal pressures of body image to stop me from being me, and doing the things I love. It was a make-orbreak moment, and fortunately I decided to try and change something ... and that wasn’t to lose lots of weight but to change the way my brain was valuing myself.
Q What kept you motivated?
A At the very start I had set myself the goal of ‘swimming outside (without a wetsuit) at least once a month for a year.’ It felt achievable but also a challenge. The difficult bit was to keep filming myself, but no one other than close family knew the goal I’d set and I felt comfort in knowing it could all just stay on my hard drive.
Q At what point did you start looking forward to plunging into cold water?
A Actually quite quickly. It’s an incredible endorphin rush. I found that once I had dipped in cold water, everyone I met that day looked 10 times more beautiful and the world so much more awesome. It was a real pick-meup. I still obviously needed to talk myself into it, though, when I stood next to the water’s edge.
Q How did you pick locations?
A There’s quite a community of open-water swimmers in the U.K., so I mostly took inspiration from them online. Sometimes my dips were quite impromptu as I carried my swimming costume in my bag to have the opportunity whilst out on a walk. And they were also a mix of places I’d been to before but never swam, and places I’d never been but wanted to explore.
Q What was your most memorable swim?
A I think it has to be the first trip to the mountain lake on my own, on Cadir Idris in Wales. It was a two-hour drive to get there and then an hour to walk up ... and then 15 seconds to dip, but oh so worth it. I was immensely proud of myself for getting out there and doing it. It just made me excited to keep going. I suppose I was out of my comfort zone, and that makes it memorable, too. I think it’s important to nudge ourselves into doing something a little different now and then.
Q When you look back on the year, what memory makes you the happiest?
A The birth of my beautiful son, but I also feel a deep sense of happiness in knowing that I will always have natural resources to lift my spirits whenever life feels difficult. There will always be cold water, and I’ll always be able to dip in it.
Q Did you find the “old Hannah?”
A I did, although I now have an 11-month-old son, so my identity has definitely shifted a little bit again towards being Arlo’s mum, but right now I’m happy with that. I know that I’ll have more time again in the future, and it’s important to do things that make you happy.
Q What was the most common reaction you got when you told people what you were doing ?
A ‘You’re mad! Bonkers!’ To those not initiated to the bliss of cold water, dipping it can seem like quite a strange thing to do. There’s one scene in the film where I’m jumping into the sea from a harbour wall, and a lady watching asked me why I was jumping in. My answer was because it was fun, but her face certainly seemed to question my sanity. I guess different people have different notions of fun. To me it’s like taking me back to my childhood and those carefree times of being in the moment purely for the joy of it.
Q If you could give another woman one piece of advice what would it be?
A Other than to dunk quick and not dilly dally around getting your toes cold at the water’s edge, it would be to try and turn down the volume on the demands of the world and to appreciate your inner strength and beauty.