Parents who finance kids should keep records

Calling his ruling “a cautionary tale,” B.C. Supreme Court Justice Ward Branch has warned parents to take care supporting their kids in the Lower Mainland’s hyperheated mortgage market.

They must make sure to properly document the financing, he emphasized, or they may trigger a nightmare of spite-filled litigation.

“For the sake of some mild awkwardness at the outset, years of misunderstanding, hurt feelings, grudges, estrangements, and expensive estate litigation may be avoided if the parties to such arrangements record their short- and long-term intentions in clear and unambiguous language,” he said.

“There is a long-term benefit to any short-term pain created by providing clarity.”

The rookie justice made the comments after Norma Enns contested her mother’s will because it left her and her late sister, Elizabeth Gordon, next to nothing and gave everything to two charities.

Mary Gordon, who died Oct. 28, 2015, and her late husband Albert were strict, controlling, critical people who tended to hold grudges and abandoned friendships whenever they felt wronged, Branch said.

“Spite cannot be said to support a rational approach to testamentary decision-making,” he added, in modifying the mother’s final wishes.

Mary and Albert were married in 1958; Norma was born that same year and Elizabeth in 1965.

“Norma gave evidence of mental abuse and some physical discipline by her parents,” Branch noted.

She moved out when she turned 20.

“After informing Mary and Albert of her decision to move out, Norma says that her parents called her a ‘slut and a whore,’ and informed her that she could leave with nothing but her clothes,” Branch said.

Nevertheless, Norma resumed relations only a couple of months later.

In 1987, Elizabeth also moved out.

In 1991, Norma met her future husband, Shawn Enns, and her parents did not approve — saying he was a loser. When they announced their engagement, her mom said, “Oh, Jesus Christ!”

In 1993, Elizabeth married Constantine Lefas and they would turn to Albert for financial help establishing themselves.

But in 1997 his volatile personality led to a dispute over the money — Elizabeth would not speak with her parents again until 2011 when both began dealing with eventually fatal health problems.

Norma and her husband managed her disagreeable parents more deftly — even when they called her an unfit mother and denigrated him.

They, too, relied on Albert for financing, even though they knew that’s what led to her sister’s estrangement. History repeated itself.

Shawn would no longer talk to his in-laws; though Norma maintained a relationship. But in 2009, the arguments over money pushed her away as well.

A short time later, her parents wrote their wills.

Both daughters only resumed contact in 2011 when Mary was diagnosed with bone cancer.

In 2012, Albert was admitted to hospital and died in November. His estate went to Mary. Although the daughters were devoted to her in her final years, Mary remained hard-hearted, telling a relative: “When I go, the girls will be in for a real shock, ha, ha, they don’t know that the house will be sold by the lawyer, and he will look after everything.”

Urged to reconsider and amend her will, she refused, saying they had caused Albert grief.

More than the mother’s nastiness bothered Branch.

“I am also troubled by the fact that Mary put Elizabeth and Norma on the same financial footing at the time of creating her will, when her estrangement from Norma had only just begun, whereas she had not seen Elizabeth for 12 years,” he said.

“This suggests some level of emotional reaction rather than a rational approach. I find that society would not reasonably expect a restriction to less than one per cent of a $1.1 million estate for an adult daughter who gracefully fulfilled all her duties to her mother for 36 of 38 adult years, including having regular face to face and telephone contact, all in the face of several mean-spirited attacks on both her and her husband ... the evidence indicates that her parents were not easy people to satisfy. But Norma generally made best efforts to do so.”

He decided, however, Elizabeth’s estate did not deserve an increased share as any moral duty was negated by her long estrangement from her mother.

Branch said Enns should get 40 per cent of the estate while the Delta Hospice Society and B.C. Children’s Hospital Foundation split 60 per cent.

The rookie justice said he expects the senior trial court to see many more such disputes “as young people are increasingly unable to come up with the funds necessary to purchase homes on their own.”