GROWING UP VEGAN

A mother’s joy & challenge

My 19-month-old’s current obsession is birds: the finches in our yard, the ducks at a nearby pond, chickens at the animal sanctuary outside of town. She calls them “tatas” and squeals with glee every time she sees one and, of course, her joy brings me joy. But in all honesty, what I really feel is relief — relief that I won’t have to explain to her one day how she eats her feathered friends.

I am vegan, and that’s how I’m raising my daughter — which, according to the American Dietetic Association (ADA), is perfectly safe. One day, when she is old enough to understand, I’ll tell her the truth about where meat and dairy come from and allow her to decide what she eats. Until then, it only feels fair that she not be forced to unknowingly eat animals and contribute to their suffering, especially since all of our nutritional needs can be met with a plant-based diet.

But just because it’s safe doesn’t mean it’s simple. Raising a child vegan comes with a bushel of challenges. Sure, my husband and I believe it’s unethical and unnecessary to eat and wear animal products, but we still live in a very omnivorous world. Although veganism is becoming increasingly popular, my daughter is still unlikely to be in the majority by the time she starts school.

So how do I raise her to be a healthy, happy and compassionate little person in a world where her best friend might bring the wing of a chicken for lunch? And how can I ensure she will keep getting all the nutrients she needs as she continues to grow?

While it’s all good to experiment on yourself — testing out tofu and seitan — learning to fulfil the nutritional needs of a growing child without the convenience of animal protein admittedly takes some effort and education. Before taking on the huge task of making food choices on behalf of my child, I enlisted the aid of my family doctor, a plant-based dietitian and some veteran vegan parents. I learned the importance of foods that are rich in iron, protein, fats and calcium for rapidly developing babies. Spinach, banana and chickpea “Hulk” muffins quickly became a huge hit in our house, and ground flax, chia, hemp and sesame seeds now top just about everything we eat. Thankfully, since starting solids at six months, my daughter has loved foods such as hummus, avocado, falafel and nut butters.

Of course, as my veggieloving baby quickly evolves into a picky toddler, it’s growing harder to get all the necessary kale and lentils into her belly. Like many parents, we occasionally rely on things like nuggets, burgers and hotdogs — only ours are made with protein-rich plants. We also supplement some nutrients, including vitamins B12 and D, along with calcium, iron and omega-3s. It’s an easy oneteaspoon insurance plan that brings me no shame and, so far, our adorable vegan toddler is happy and healthy, with the blood work to prove it.

But the nutritional aspects of raising a child vegan are only part of the learning curve. How and when will I discuss the truth about where meat, eggs and dairy come from with her?

Kate Aubrey, a clinical psychologist in Kelowna, B.C., who has a practice in child and adolescent mental health, says parents should begin discussing with their kids where food comes from between the ages of three and five years old, when they are naturally becoming more curious. “Be sure to keep the narrative straightforward and non-graphic,” she says, “and allow your child to ask questions.” A longtime vegetarian herself, Aubrey says to keep the focus on family values rather than details that may be age inappropriate or even traumatizing. She suggests using value statements like, “Mommy doesn’t like how animals are raised on farms, so that is why we don’t eat meat.”

“As your child matures, so will her understanding of your values,” she says.

Establishing vegan family values isn’t very different from the other value choices most parents make, such as religion, gender roles within the home and methods of discipline.

Of course, whenever a child stands out as different from her peers, there is a risk of social challenges, and raising a child vegan is certainly asking her to take a step outside of social norms. As Aubrey points out, though, this isn’t an issue exclusive to vegans: “As children age, they all struggle to be true to themselves while fitting in.” I take comfort in knowing that kids today attend school with peers of various cultures, religions and lifestyles and share different allergies and dietary restrictions, so they are learning from a young age to be accepting of different eating habits, clothing choices and personal perspectives.

In fact, one Harvard study that focused on vegetarian children ages six to 10 found that kids, whether they were raised vegetarian or came to the decision on their own, didn’t judge others who ate meat as morally wrong, but rather saw it as a personal choice.

So far, it has been easy to keep my at-home baby in a relative bubble, but soon she will start daycare and attend birthday parties and I will have to tell her, “No, you can’t eat what all the other children are eating.” I don’t have all the answers yet, but I’m thankful to be part of a rapidly growing group of parents who follow plant-based diets and are navigating this trip together. In social media groups, we help one another with different scenarios, sharing ways to cope with intolerant grandparents, meat-centred events and rigid school-lunch policies.

Going forward, my personal plan is to hold firm in my beliefs, be informative and kind and always have a good stash of vegan snacks and treats in my purse.