SUPER SUVS
Sport utilities with supercar DNA
Has it really been 16 years since Porsche scandalized the automotive world by introducing an SUV? A luxury SUV, no less. The sacrilege! The treason! The … profits?
Yes, follow the money and all things lead to sport utility vehicles, even in the luxury and “supercar” markets. Oh, they may be faux-by-fauxes, never to see a mud bog or sand dune. They probably won’t ever get dirty at all, just used as a minivan substitute to get to the local grocery store. But if you’re a luxury marque not building an SUV, either you have some very understanding shareholders or you’re about to get fired.
Everyone’s got one now — save Ferrari, and that’s coming — so here are our picks for the top five super-est of super SUVs.
THE FERRARI SUBSTITUTE
Alfa Romeo is Italian, owned by the same company that owns Ferrari — Fiat Chrysler Automobiles — and its top-of-the-line SUV, the Stelvio Quadrifoglio, is powered by an engine built by Ferrari. Oh, and every one I’ve ever seen was red.
The heart of anything super is the engine, and the Stelvio’s is a gem. Unlike most of the other entrants, the Alfa sports six pistons, but its massaged-by-Maranello heritage means it’s a stonker. Essentially the V8 from Ferrari’s 488 with two cylinders lopped off, the Stelvio Quadrifoglio pumps out 505 horsepower and 443 pound-feet of torque. Foot to the floor — and a healthy disregard for the price of gas — the four-leaf clover (for that is what Quadrifoglio means in Italian) version of the Stelvio romps from zero to 100 km/h in about 3.5 seconds, then tops out somewhere in the vicinity of 283 km/h.
Of course, since it’s an Alfa, there are some, um, inconsistencies, including (in no particular order) rear seats not nearly as commodious as its SUV roofline would seem to suggest, the same again for cargo space, and the lack of a tilt/ telescoping steering wheel. That said, it does “only” cost $95,000 — the least of all the supers here — and it does have an engine built by Ferrari.
THAT’S NO BULL
Actually it is. It’s an Urus, only the second SUV — remember the Rambo Lambo? — Lamborghini has ever produced. Barely on the market a year, the Urus is almost entirely responsible for Lambo’s incredible 51 per cent year-overyear sales growth. For that alone, may we all give thanks.
It also boasts a pretty incredible 641 hp from the Audi-sourced — you do remember that Lamborghini is owned by the Volkswagen Group, right? — 4.0-L twin-turbo V8. The Urus’ 2,200 kilograms will hustle from zero to 100 km/h in just 3.6 seconds and rail around hairpins with a precision that would make a Cayenne Turbo jealous.
The interior is also far more luxurious and, for those of you doubting its off-road bona fides, rest assured Lamborghini knows mud. I’ve driven the Rambo Lambo and can attest that it’s as butch as SUVs get. One also never tires of having to flip up the jet fighter-like little red toggle before hitting the starter button. Almost makes you forget that it costs $232,000. Almost.
NOW THIS IS JUST PLAIN RIDICULOUS
Despite being only slightly smaller than a house (and almost as heavy), the new Speed version of Bentley’s Bentayga is the fastest SUV in the world. There’s 306 km/h to be had if you wring its turbocharged W12’s — no, not a V12 — neck. And while that may be a paltry, single-digit faster than the Urus, it’s still an incredible 190 mph in something that at least pretends to be an off-road vehicle, not to mention weighing in at 2,515 kilograms and being about as aerodynamic as a brick. It is hard, it seems, even for aerodynamic drag, to resist 626 hp.
Inside there’s sumptuous leather seating for four, five or even seven, and thanks to a 48-volt Dynamic Ride system that controls roll and pitch, the Speed is much more pavement demon than mud bogger. Even the rich don’t dare scratch $300,000-plus SUVs.
THE TRAILBLAZER
Porsche is often given credit for starting — OK, popularizing — the luxury SUV segment. Now that SUVs are not only mainstream, but the mainstream in the luxury market, it might do well to remember the controversy Stuttgart brought upon itself when it first dared to launch the Cayenne. All manner of wrath and hellfire was sure to descend on those who dared to sully the Porsche nameplate with a sport utility vehicle.
Soon enough, though, that disdain turned to envy, and as other luxury marques started successfully copying the original Cayenne’s formula, Porsche — thanks to the Cayenne Turbo and its then541-hp of SUV silliness — brought us the super-SUV, once again reinventing the luxury segment.
And now, thanks to the Cayenne Turbo S E-Hybrid, we have a “green” super-SUV. Essentially, Porsche takes the rompin’-and-stompin’ turbocharged V8 from the Turbo S model, ladles in oodles of electric motor torque and then synchronizes the two disparate powertrains, so there’s 670 hp and 663 lb-ft of torque. Wow!
Double wow for a sport brute that can accelerate from zero to 100 km/h in just 3.8 seconds, yet can, thanks to its 14.2 kWh battery, motor along completely electrically for up to 44 km.
All that said, trail-blazing doesn’t come cheap: The Cayenne Turbo S E-Hybrid will set you back $182,200, and the new Coupe version an additional $4,900.
THE AMERICAN
I’m not sure why anyone would want a weapons-grade Jeep. I’m not even sure Jeep knows why anyone would want a weapons-grade Jeep, but I do know the company builds one. It’s called the Grand Cherokee Trackhawk.
Essentially, Jeep liberates the 6.2-L supercharged V8 from the equally silly Challenger and Charger Hellcat, and dumps it into the unsuspecting berm-buster. The result is about as silly as you might expect. A total of 707 supercharged horsepower teleports the square box of a Grand Cherokee from rest to 100 km/h in just 3.7 seconds. Lowered suspension and gargantuan P295/45ZR20 Pirelli Scorpion Verde run-flat tires all around guarantee prodigious grip. Six-piston Brembo brake calipers (barely) manage to subdue the beast.
If you need further reason to opt for the Trackhawk over all the rest of these prestigious nameplates, the supercharged Grand Cherokee costs only $113,495, and it can tow more than 3,250 kg.