Scholarship helps writer find her voice
A lifelong lover and writer of poetry, Delta's Zehra Naqvi never thought she'd write her own collection of poems.
But two years as a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford encouraged her to trust her voice and write more. Now, on the eve of National Poetry Month (April), Naqvi has published her debut poetry collection, The Knot of My Tongue.
“I found writing poetry connected to the same place that I was exploring the academic questions I was interested in,” said Naqvi, who did master's degrees in migration studies and social anthropology while at the English university from 2018-20.
“It changed my life,” said Naqvi, who moved with her family to B.C. from Karachi, Pakistan 23 years ago at age seven. “I was struggling quite a bit. And I think what Oxford brought me was some really amazing incredible friendships ... being with those women helped me loosen my tongue.
“That experience really informed the writing of the book.”
The title of the collection, The Knot of My Tongue, is taken from the Qur'an and a story about Musa (the Arabic name for Moses).
“The story goes, he has a speech impediment and he struggled to speak. And he was asked to go before the pharaoh and ask for his people's freedom. And he was very nervous and anxious, and he was scared of speaking,” Naqvi said during a phone call from Malaysia, where she has been living for the past few months.
“There was this prayer in the Qur'an where he is asking God to ease the tightness of his chest and unknot the knot of his tongue so that he can speak.”
Naqvi said that prayer that “was gifted” to her by family members has always been a source of encouragement. And now it plays a prominent role in a collection that squarely faces the effects violence can have on one's voice.
“I felt there were moments when I wanted to be able to speak up for myself after experiencing harm or violence. (I was) just feeling very wordless, and feeling very speechless, and feeling a sense of betrayal from my body for not having the words to be able to advocate for myself,” said Naqvi.
“That's what this book is about — how do you find language? How do you move on from that moment of silence and how do you survive?”
While she dealt with her own issues, including leaving a harmful relationship, Naqvi said she found herself looking outward for inner strength.
“The process of writing this book was finding language. And I think, for me, it wasn't necessarily language that came from the self but actually all around me,” said Naqvi. “Traditions I had grown up with. Stories I had been told. Stories of women in moments of aloneness. Conversations with friends. So, I think it was all the language around me that was what I listened to in order to write this book.”
The winner of the Bronwen Wallace Award for Emerging Writers, Naqvi will be back in Canada soon to promote her debut collection. But, in the meantime, she is writing some fiction and non-fiction.
“After this collection, I wanted to step away from poetry and do something a little bit different,” said Naqvi. “I feel I can write sentences again.”
While her focus may shift to a different form of writing, Naqvi says poetry will always be a large presence in her emotional and creative life.
“I grew up around different forms of poetry. Urdu poetry has always been around me, so I think at moments it's meant community. At moments, it's meant survival,” said Naqvi, pointing to the late American Muslim writer Agha Shahid Ali as her favourite poet, adding his book Rooms are Never Finished (2001) informed her work. “I think poetry has helped me survive.”