Long tackles the haters
It’s been about a week since Chris Long announced he would not be going to the White House with his New England Patriots teammates to celebrate their Super Bowl victory, which is plenty of time for the haters to come out of the woodwork.
But it also has given Long more than enough time to come up with rebuttals to every one of their arguments, which he did via Twitter on Thursday night.
“Heard it all this week … if you don’t want to hear about the dumb - - - - I’ve heard … mute away, but it’s good,” he tweeted to kick things off. What then followed was a takedown more glorious that any tackle the defensive end ever has made in his nine-year NFL career.
“Respect the office” … Ok birther theory guy
“Stick to football” ... you don’t look like a state senator yourself there bud.
“I hope they cut you” ... I’m a free agent.
According to the Patriots’ website, Long is indeed unlikely to return to New England.
“stop being self important. I’m no longer a fan” … I’m self important but you thought this was important enough to bring to my attention, eh?
“You just wanna be a cool lib” ... As a football player, liberals thought I was a living, breathing piece of steak before I agreed with them.
“You hate the troops” … The secondary focus of my foundation (out of two causes) is veteran support. Do your research. Also, not relatable.
The first focus of Chris Long’s foundation is providing clean water to rural communities in East Africa. That’s a pretty solid cause, too. But here’s a picture of him saluting the troops after scoring a touchdown for the Rams in 2013, just in case you need more convincing.
“You hate white people” … Oh yeah, for sure. I despise them but I named my son (who is white) after an outlaw country singer (Waylon Jennings).
“You should go talk to trump if you want change” ... I’m skipping a photo op, not a congressional hearing.