Time to loosen TVs grasp on our household

Not for the first time in our lives, my wife and I have been in serious discussions this week about getting rid of television.

I should clarify — not really getting rid of the THE television ... OK, televisions ... But getting rid of paying an incredibly high monthly bill for television service.

We’ve talked the talk before. We get a gazillion channels pumped into our home in high definition and not only that, we have the convenience of recording shows to watch them later and we can fast forward through the commercials.

Not only that, we can also access some shows “on demand” if we forget to record them. And not only that, we can also watch some of these shows on our laptops or iPads.

And not only that, I can use my phone as a remote and change the channels while my wife is watching something. Drives her crazy. When she swears, I know she thinks it’s hilarious.

As I said, this is not the first time we’ve talked tough about cutting the cord. Out of the hundreds of channels and thousands of TV shows and movies available, we each regularly watch two or three shows.

On Monday night I made a little observation. My wife and I and our daughter were all settled in watching TV but we were watching Netflix and we were watching TV shows that all originally aired in the 2000s. I was revisiting “Scrubs,” my kid was diving in to “The Office” and my wife was immersed in “Angel” (the vampire with a soul). Mock us if you want. There’s no accounting for taste.

I was being particularly mindful of our TV habit because something else happened recently. We got smacked upside the head with a rather painful bill for TV, Internet and a cellphone. Like, really smacked upside the head. Like I would have traded this bill for several UFC or WWE style smacks upside the head. It was vicious, it was painful and it was uncalled for.

Part of this mammoth bill can indeed be traced directly to the TV and all those glorious conveniences I mentioned earlier. Part of it was actually the cellphone’s fault.

Seems my daughter didn’t realize she’d be charged for every single text she sent to a friend in the U.S. She sent quite a few. Like 241. Apparently that’s just a chat.

Oh, and we also got dinged on this bill because we had to replace a phone that she broke but in fairness, she did slip on the ice and we’re thankful the phone broke and our daughter did not.

Regardless, the texts and the broken phone and the TV and the HST all added up to a mortgage payment (or so) and forced us to examine our situation.

Sorry, TV, but you’re making our decision easy. We have you but we don’t use you enough to get our money’s worth. If we paid for what we watched, we’d be much further ahead. It’s like TV is a running faucet that we occasionally dip a glass into to get a drink or stick our armpits under to wash up but we pay for it the whole time it’s running. But guess what? There is such a thing as paying only for what you watch. There are all kinds of options out there. There is absolutely no reason we can’t cut our TV service and save ourselves at least $1,500 per year. No reason at all! Except it scares me to death. Call me a coward but I grew up on TV. We’ve had primo deluxe TV service as long as I can remember. My parents signed up for pay TV as soon as it became a thing way, way back in the 1980s and because of that, I watched “Rocky III” at least 20 times. We went from colour to cable to satellite to digital, and now I am ready to go from the cutting edge to just plain cutting. Eeep.

I don’t know why it makes me nervous. There’s nothing to worry about. There’s plenty of entertainment out there plus there are books and magazines and I hear adult colouring books are a big thing (and also that they are not what I first thought of when I heard about “adult colouring books”).

That’s it. I’m calling. TV is dead to me. And if I find myself lost, adrift and searching, there’s no rule that says I can’t get it back.

Off I go. Freedom!