The only exercise you’ll ever need (if you dare)
I tried doing some new exercises recently because I haven’t totally given up. I could give up. It would be easy.
I went to lunch with a co-worker last week and when we sat down he was so overwhelmed that he lost all sense of decorum and declared, “Wow, are you ever going grey!”
My look must have checked him up somewhat because he tried to backtrack, ever so slightly. “Aren’t you?” I was at a loss for words, but I was glad he stayed fixated on my hair. Why stop at grey? Why not mention the extra winter weight I’ve put on?
Too bad we aren’t lunching this week. I have a lovely spring cold sore in full blossom and I would just love to hear his comments on it.
But back to my new exercise. One of my favourite exercise activities is learning about new exercises online. There are some great resources out there on how to do anything from training for a marathon to stretching your hip flexors to activating your glutes. Sometimes I get so engrossed, I don’t even have time to actually do the exercises.
Sometimes you can find some real gems online. This one article featured an exercise that could deliver powerful fitness benefits in a short amount of time with no need to go to a gym or invest in any equipment. I’m in!
The exercise was … burpees. You might remember burpees from gym class. As in, when the Phys. Ed. teacher would say, “Burpee time!” you may have done what I did and faked an injury, any injury. It didn’t matter what — turf toe, pulled hammy, sprained spleen — anything to get out of burpees.
If you haven’t burpeed in a while (and why would you?), allow me to remind you what this entails. You go from a standing position then squat down and put your hands on the floor. No, no, no don’t go do it yet. Sit down. That’s not the end of it. There’s more. Let me finish.
Once you’re squatting with your hands on the floor, you kick both feet straight back, finishing in a pushup starting position.
There’s more. Since you’re down there, you might as well do a pushup. Then you bring your feet back up under you so you’re back in a squat position and you can go ahead and stand back up again. To truly stand like a professional burpeeist, you might as well add a jump. And clap your hands. That’s one. This torture was invented in the 1930s by a physiologist named Royal Burpee who devised it as a fitness measure. The U.S. army also adopted it and now, here we are, still doing burpees.
I do not doubt the power of the burpee. The article I read described a “burpee challenge” of sorts. The author did this burpee thing 10 times then took a break and did 10 more, then 10 more and she did it every day for two weeks. She described some amazing fitness benefits and I was sold.
I did 30 ugly burpees in total. That reminds me, editor, we should insert a legal disclaimer into this column in case someone actually tries this. Please don’t try this. The burpees burned. They were as promised — an intense, quick, no-cost workout.
I managed to do the routine again on Day 2. By Day 3 I couldn’t lift my arms. I had to take a break. By Day 7 I tried one burpee. It felt like someone was sticking a knife into that spot behind my armpits where some people have muscles.
I have not burpeed again, yet. I’ve thought about it, but told myself I can’t do it right now. Sprained spleen.