Sarah Bacon (29, Healing of the Seven Generations volunteer co-ordinator, New Brunswick Algonquin and Mik’maq)
As part of the conversation surrounding intergenerational trauma and reconciliation, seven female leaders from different parts of Waterloo Region’s Indigenous community share their personal healing journeys, and their insights into what moving forward loo
‘I pick up on energies. I think that’s why I have these problems. A room can be overwhelming. If someone is angry, I will pick it up and mirror it. I am trying to learn how to block energies that aren’t mine.’
From a young age, Sarah Bacon was being tested.
She saw psychiatrists and doctors, was prescribed medications, and diagnosed with a string of learning disabilities, behavioural problems, and mental health issues.
Under the stresses of being told there was something wrong with her, she developed an inhibiting speech impediment. “A lot was happening around me. I wasn’t talking or hearing properly, so doctors labelled me retarded. I was misdiagnosed because I see things differently than other people,” she says.
When school began, Sarah was placed in a special education classroom, designed to teach students with severe disabilities. She describes her experience as debilitating. “If you’re in a room with someone who rocks back and forth, after awhile you’ll start rocking back and forth,” she says.
“I was put in a one-room classroom with other kids labelled disabled with severe mental problems. I had learning difficulties, sure, but not that extreme.” Influenced by her peers, Sarah’s condition worsened. “I was stuck in those places for so long with individuals who were worse than me. I picked up their traits and it made mine worse.”
It has taken years for Sarah to reflect on the ways in which her sensitivity to her surroundings has affected her growth. “When I am really stressed, I’ll revert back to an old me — someone who rocks back and forth for comfort, because I didn’t know what else to do. I was never taught real affection.”
It all changed when Sarah discovered Healing of the Seven Generations in Kitchener, where she finally found a community that would accept her. The more she let go of the labels placed upon her attentiveness and empathy, the less hindering her stammer became. “My speech impediment was much worse two years ago — I would barely be able to talk to you then. Now, I feel safer to speak,” she says.
It’s true Sarah is autistic, epileptic, gay and Indigenous, but she no longer allows the world to diagnose her as anything other than herself. Through cognitive and dialectical therapy, Sarah is slowly rediscovering her voice. “I realize now that I am not a label, I am a human. If they can’t love me for who I am, or if I change in their eyes by telling them who I am, then they are not my real friends,” she says. “Now, I surround myself with the energies I choose.”