Is the movie any good?
Trailers reveal some good, some bad and some real winners in holiday offerings
You can tell a lot from movie trailers. It’s not the same as watching an actual movie, granted, which is roughly 50 times as long.
But the reality is that even in a twominute, 30-second highlight reel designed to pique curiosity, it’s hard to disguise a turd.
Herewith and forthwith, capsule reviews of 10 upcoming seasonal blockbusters and potential Oscar contenders that reveal themselves — wittingly and otherwise — through their trailers.
Just Getting Started (Dec. 8)
Director: Ron Shelton (“Tin Cup,” “Bull Durham”).
Starring: Morgan Freeman, Tommy Lee Jones, Rene Russo.
Plot: Old codgers tussle over the same woman at a retirement resort, until they have to band together to fend off — who else? — the mob.
Trailer: Forced gaiety, lascivious seniors, car explosions, tepid one-liners.
Cliché alert: 80-year-old men paired with women 30 years their junior, seniors resorts that function like high school, the enduring presence of the mob, Hollywood’s favourite go-to villain.
Key lines: (Freeman to Jones): “Did you come to Villa Capri just to piss me off ?”
(Jones): “No. That was just a happy byproduct.”
(Younger woman gazing lustfully at geriatric Jones): “There’s new food on the buffet!”
Sum it up in a sentence: Lifeless comedy geared to mature filmgoers that could have been made any time in the last 50 years.
Prospects for success: Shelton hasn’t had a hit since “Tin Cup” in 1996. Come on, who’s gonna sit through this?
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Dec. 15)
Director: Rian Johnson (“Looper,” “Breaking Bad”)
Starring: Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Daisy Ridley
Plot: Good vs. evil, fulfilling your destiny, light sabres, space battles, you know the drill.
Trailer: Dark, foreboding with stentorian music, brooding, bearded Mark Hamill, grim-faced Carrie Fisher (final role before her death), angst-ridden heroes, cute robots/androids, spectacular explosions.
Key lines: “When I found you, I saw raw, untamed power — and beyond that, something truly special.”
What’s new: Diverse cast with strong female leads indicates a millennial outlook to counter derisive claims of “nostalgia.” Sum it up in a sentence: More, more, more. But darker.
Prospects for success: Are you kidding? It’s a sure thing.
The Greatest Showman (Dec. 20) Director: Michael Gracey (directorial debut)
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Michelle Williams, Zendaya.
Plot: To the shock of conventional society, circus-master P.T. Barnum unveils The Greatest Show On Earth, with its infamous sideshow of “freaks.”
Trailer: Empowering against-the-odds storyline with emotional subtext, arresting musical numbers and great choreography reminiscent of the Oscar-winning “La La Land.” A class act.
Cliché alert: Good-looking white people complain they can’t get a break, then redeem themselves by empowering disenfranchised “freaks.” The “freaks,” in Hollywood fashion, are eternally grateful.
Key lines: (Bearded Lady): “The world is ashamed of us. But you put us in the spotlight. You gave us a real family.”
(P.T. Barnum): “Every one of us is special. And nobody is like anyone else. That’s the point of my show.”
Sum it up in a sentence: Revisionist history that will melt your heart and nab plenty of Oscar noms. Prospects for success: As an art-house hit, I would bet on this.
All The Money In The World (Dec. 22)
Starring: Michelle Williams, Mark Wahlberg, Christopher Plummer
Director: Ridley Scott (“Alien,” “Blade Runner,” “The Martian”).
Plot: When J. Paul Getty’s teenage grandson is kidnapped by an organized crime ring in 1973 Rome, the richest man in the world refuses to pay his ransom because “I don’t have the money.”
Controversy: Kevin Spacey, as J. Paul, had completed shooting and was considered an Oscar shoo-in when sexual assault allegations saw him replaced, a few weeks ago, by Christopher Plummer.
Trailer: A cinematic Frankenstein, with two versions on YouTube: one with Spacey, the other with Plummer.
Spacey version: set to The Zombies’ hypnotic “Time of the Season,” it boasts an enticingly malevolent streak only Spacey can bring, with the heavily made up actor presented as a cagey raconteur with a mischievous twinkle.
Plummer version: released a few days ago, it’s more plodding and straightforward, trading Spacey’s stylish grace for a dignified, implacable stubbornness.
Key lines: “You have to be able to walk away.” “He’s my son — I can’t walk away!” Sum it up in a sentence: Valiant effort to recalibrate a compelling biopic with another actor at the 11th hour. People want it to work, but can it?
Prospects for success: Aborted Spacey version: Oscars galore. Plummer reshoot: points for chutzpah, but the jury is out.
Downsizing (Dec. 22)
Director: Alexander Payne (“Sideways,” “The Descendants”), a two-time Oscar winner and literate chronicler of middleaged male angst.
Starring: Matt Damon, Kristen Wiig. Plot: A bored suburban couple downsize their lives, literally, by undergoing a medical procedure that shrinks them to the size of a Popsicle. They save money and the environment, but will they be happy?
Trailer: Whimsical touches, satirical tone, set to The Talking Heads’ effervescent “Once in a Lifetime.”
Key lines: “Downsizing is about saving yourself — we live like kings!”
Sum it up in a sentence: A gimmicky comedy from a director known for thoughtful, ungimmicky dramas.
Prospects for success: Depends on the Christmas appetite for quirky. Not a sure thing.
The Disaster Artist (Dec. 8) Director: James Franco (directorial debut).
Starring: James Franco, Dave Franco. Plot: Docudrama about key players behind the 2003 cult hit “The Room,” lauded as “the Citizen Kane of Bad Movies” and the worst film ever made.
Trailer: Franco’s deadpan take on bad film auteur Tommy Wiseau is both poignant and hilarious, capturing his personal eccentricities and jarring lack of selfawareness. Traffic’s psychedelic “Dear Mr. Fantasy” sets the tone of passionate artistic folly. Key lines: (casting director): “You have a malevolent presence. I could see you as Dracula or Frankenstein.” (Wiseau): “I am not Frankenstein. I am HERO!”
Sum it up in a sentence: Amusing portrayal of the power of positive thinking, even when talent is non-existent.
Prospects for success: Among the art house crowd to whom it’s targeted, a definite winner.
The Post (Dec/Jan)
Starring: Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks. Director: Steven Spielberg (“E.T.”, “Jaws,” “Lincoln”) Plot: In 1971, The Washington Post grapples with the legal repercussions of releasing the Pentagon Papers, which reveal the U.S. government has been lying to its citizens about the Vietnam War. Trailer: Tense, exciting, with two beloved actors going head to head against the forces of institutional evil. Key lines: “If you publish, we’ll be at the Supreme Court next week. We could all go to prison.” “If we don’t publish? We will lose! The country will lose!’’
Sum it up in a sentence: Like the Oscar-winning drama “Spotlight,” proof that when newspapers speak truth to power, democracy prevails. A classic underdog tale.
Prospects for success: It’s Spielberg in sobre-reflective mode, so forget about teenagers. But with awards already piling up, critics and Oscar will flock to it in spades.
Father Figures (Dec. 22) Director: Lawrence Sher (directorial debut) Starring: Ed Helms, Owen Wilson Plot: Two 40-year-old girly men embark on a road trip to find their real dad after their promiscuous mother reveals he’s still alive.
Trailer: A paint-by-numbers bro comedy that veers from one scatological confrontation to another. “The Hangover” redux.
Key lines: “Our top mission is finding Dad. The sub-mission is going to be having stone crabs. The mission below that: getting you l-id.” Sum it up in a sentence. I could never sit through this.
Prospects for success: Given that it’s been on the shelf for two years, my guess is that enough people had enough reservations that no one should get their hopes up.
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (Dec. 20)
Director: Jake Kasdan (Movies: “Sex Tape”; TV: “Freaks and Geeks,” “The Grinder”). Starring: The Rock, Jack Black, Kevin Hart.
Plot: “The Breakfast Club” meets “Tron” meets the original “Jumanji” when four high schoolers serving detention in the school’s basement get sucked into a video game.
Trailer: Equal parts action, with herds of charging rhinos and rambunctious elephants, and witty repartee from the adult cast that seems less contrived than amusingly tongue-in-cheek. Better than I thought. Key lines: “We all became the avatars we chose.”
“Oh no. I’m an overweight middle-aged man!”
Sum it up in a sentence: Robin Williams’ 1995 hit about a man stuck in a board game is prime material for a juiced up millennial reboot. Prospects for success: Qualified thumbs up.
I, Tonya (Dec/Jan) Director: Craig Gillespie (“Lars and the Real Girl,” “Fright Night”) Starring: Margot Robbie, Allison Janney.
Plot: During the 1994 National Figure Skating Championships, white trash Tonya Harding finds herself implicated in scandal when arch rival Nancy Kerrigan is attacked by a friend of her ex-husband. “Based on the INSANE true story.”
Trailer: Darkly comic, with garish 1990s fashion set to the funkified Hot Chocolate tune “Everyone’s a Winner.” Janney is mesmerizing as her wolfish, profanityspewing mother, while Robbie projects a mix of gumption, insolence and endearing, two-faced charisma. She’s The Karla Homolka of figure skating.
Key lines: (Harding): “Come on, what kind of friggin’ person bashes in their friend’s knee? Who would do that ... to a friend?”
(Her mother): “You skated like a graceless bull dyke!”
Sum it up in a sentence: Engagingly twisted depiction of the scandal that rocked the world before O.J. stole the spotlight. A funnier version of “Whiplash.”
Prospects for success: Already racking up awards. As an art house hit and Oscar contender, it can’t miss.