Community nurse was a ceaseless advocate for those in need of support
Linda Jean Bender of Kitchener Born: Oct. 27, 1953, in Kitchener Died: Nov. 18, 2017, of a heart attack
When Linda Bender addressed issues about mental health, particularly suicide, the community nurse spoke with passion and conviction.
“We need to be compassionate,” Linda told The Record in 2015 for an article on just how common mental health issues are in Canada. “It’s not the one or few, anyone can have struggles with mental health.”
Linda added that there is a terrible stigma related to suicide; people often feel they can’t share their innermost thoughts, but she counselled, “It’s OK to come forward when you are feeling helpless.”
Linda had been team leader for mental health prevention and education services at the Waterloo Wellington branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association, a job she held for three decades before retiring and joining the staff as a mental health worker at Kitchener’s Reception House, a support centre for refugees.
“She had a gentle, calming spirit, a wonderful laugh, and she was very generous with her time,” said Marika Galadza, manager of community engagement at Reception House.
Linda faced a real challenge at the community-run agency, working with traumatized refugees who came to Canada often from war-torn countries. In a few cases, when Linda recognized a refugee was struggling to adapt to this new life, she would make an extra effort to help them adjust and find the right supports.
“Some of the clients could have ended up homeless if not for her help,” said Marika. “A lot of cases took up a lot of her time.”
Though Linda only started the job in October 2016 and was diagnosed with cancer this past April, she managed to help many clients and create a mental health wellness program for staff, among other programs. In her job with Canadian Mental Health, Linda was responsible for launching several innovative programs and training staff.
Linda put her personal, caring spin on everything she did.
Though she was often in the forefront of new ideas, Linda was too humble to put herself in the spotlight.
“She really related to people and understood where they came from,” said Marika. “People really loved her.”
Linda was born into a Mennonite family of three daughters: Ruth Ann, Mary Jane and Linda. Tragically, Mary Jane died as an infant.
The family moved to the U.S. where Linda graduated high school before returning to Canada. She married, had a son Loren who died in infancy, and a daughter Ananda.
After divorcing her first husband, Linda, who had at that time been working in the service industry, decided to return to school and follow a career more suited to her caring personality.
“She needed to reinvent herself,” said Doug Jones, a family therapist and Linda’s husband of 10 years.
After completing nurse’s training in 1984 at Conestoga College, Linda worked in a hospital for a time, but wasn’t really satisfied.
“Her love was community nursing,” said Doug, who met his wife at the old Station Hotel where both had gone with friends to listen to music and to dance. They were friends for years before getting serious, and he proposed in 2006 on a rubble-strewn beach in Collingwood as two rainbow arches reached for each other across Georgian Bay. It was a romantic moment, remembered Doug, and symbolized the deep love they shared.
Ruth Ann Scott remembers her sister as having “a wonderful gift and a great brain, a natural to go into nursing.”
She said Linda was caring and loving, but she was also a strong-willed person “not afraid to say what she believed in, what was right.”
Marika said Linda took the same approach in dealing with her cancer diagnosis in April.
“She was quite strong and approached her illness with grace,” said Marika.
In the end, though, Linda, who was undergoing cancer treatment, died in Doug’s arms of a heart attack following a stroll around their beloved old Kitchener neighbourhood.
“Linda had planned to go to Nicaragua after her next chemo session,” said Doug. “She was really quite amazing.”