To connect with others, writer must bare her soul
On her 26th birthday, Tanya Sood stepped up onto a wobbly patio table in a crowded bar. She held her drink in the air and shouted: “Cheers! To my vagina!”
She felt confident, alive and powerful at that moment, “as if I unlocked something deep within me that had been waiting for years to surge out.”
That moment was 16 years ago. That something deep inside her was what Sood, a freelance writer who lives in Waterloo, now describes as “the Divine Feminine.”
And she recounts her journey of discovery in a new book, “She Has Risen.”
The book is part self-help manual, part autobiography as Sood describes her own personal path in vivid detail.
She shares her discovery of a meaningful life that includes daily meditation which brings “a deeper calm,” connecting with and giving back to others, overcoming fear and the awareness of the divine spark of energy within each of us.
She also shares some intensely personal stories about giving birth
after several miscarriages, driving in bad weather on an unknown road with no map, and bursting into tears when, in therapy, she felt a powerful longing to have been mothered on a deeper level during her own childhood.
How did it feel, at a time when strangers can be so cruel and critical on social media, to speak so frankly about these intimate moments in her own life?
“If I’m not being open, how are people going to get to know me?” Sood said.
“The thing is, life isn’t polished. Let people see the wounds, the imperfect things that are part of you.
“It’s only in those moments of vulnerability” that others can connect with you and really hear what you have to say.
As her book came together this past year, Sood has watched the #MeToo movement, in which women and some men have been speaking out about their experiences of abuse, harassment and assault by more powerful men.
“I was so glad to see so many people coming forward,” she said. “Owning that power, to be able to share that truth. “Words are powerful.”
Sood knows about that. She spent many years working in public relations and marketing. She wrote speeches for others that earned them standing ovations. She wrote strategic plans and media releases for other people. Words were her tools, but she herself was invisible as she deployed them in her daily life.
“There were times when I felt like I was living a double life,” she wrote.
“I worked in a job where I was known for my professionalism and polish. My suits were as stiff as my demeanour.
“I was strict with myself, had high expectations of others, and struggled with viewing vulnerability as weakness, when in fact nothing could be farther from the truth.”
She had a persona for work, but on the inside, she wasn’t that person.
“My soul was screaming at me,” she wrote.
“That’s not who I am. I”m a woman and there’s a feminine side to me. Nothing to so with strength or weakness.”
Writing her book “was really about being seen.”
Since the book was launched, Sood has been speaking at local bookstores and other venues. Ten per cent of proceeds go to the Malala Fund for education of girls.
On Thursday, which is International Women’s Day, she will speak at a sold-out event at the Boathouse in Kitchener’s Victoria Park. The evening, a benefit for the SHORE (Sexual Health Options, Resources and Education) Centre, will also include opportunities to connect and celebrate with a variety of women with something to say.
Sood has known for 23 years that she wanted to write a book, but it took decades to know what she wanted to say.
What she hopes it will do now is inspire others.
“I want to know that one day, my sevenyear-old daughter is going to be OK and supported, and allow herself to be who she is,” Sood said.