The fall-down-go-boom March break road trip

My youngest daughter has disappeared.

She was here just a second ago, walking to the car after picking up a frozen caffeine-and-sugar drink from a ubiquitous coffee chain, one of many such pit stops on our annual March break road trip.

Her sister is also having trouble breathing.

That’s because she knows what’s happened and is doubled over with laughter, leaning against the car with tears rolling down her face.

I peek around the car and find my kid lying prone on the parking lot pavement, her right arm extended and her drink still perfectly upright. The rest of her, however, not so much; she’s slipped on some ice and fallen down but worked hard to avoid spilling a drop of iced cappuccino.

She’s fine, though her sister will need some time to recover from her laughing fit.

And now we have a road trip story to add to the collection.

Each March break for the past several years, daughters and I have gone on a road trip together, just the three of us. What started as a necessity — my wife couldn’t get time off one year — has morphed into tradition.

We’ve done Ottawa several times — my brother and his family live there and it’s full of things to do — and ventured as far as Quebec City by car.

Last year, we hopped on a plane and visited my other brother in Halifax, exposing my girls to messy glory of lobster consumption and other unique elements of Maritime life.

This year, we had plans for Montreal, one of my favourite cities and a place the girls have never really explored. But when my wife came down with a bad case of pneumonia — she’s fine but still recovering — we put the planning process on hold and ultimately decided a shorter trip might be better. So it was back to Ottawa to see my brother and his new kid.

What we’ve learned over the years is that where we go and what we do is secondary to the trip itself, that it will always be fun as long we stick to what we know works. We have three basic rules on these trips.

1. There are no rules for food. At home, the kids are encouraged to eat healthy and while we’re beyond forcing them to eat their fruits and vegetables, they know they have to consume at least a token amount with every meal. On the road, however, we actively seek out the most decadent, delicious food we can find and augment that with sugary snacks. The car does not smell very good after a few hours.

2. Make decisions to do dumb stuff. This year, we stopped to play laser tag, but we’ve also gone to water parks, shot Airsoft guns, visited a range of sugar shacks (meshes nicely with No. 1) and visited a range of weird stores, museums and roadside attractions. We usually have a plan, but we rarely stick to it.

3. Dumb jokes are the best jokes. My daughter falling down became a running gag this week, as did my older kid’s reluctance to share her food; her sister and I would circle around her like seagulls chirping “bite, bite, bite.” There is also plenty of toilet humour.

My kids are getting older — this year, my older daughter did long stretches of the driving for the first time. Soon, she’ll move on to the next phase of her life and I know March break will likely be one of the inevitable casualties. We’ll make new memories and cherish the old ones.

Especially the ones involving comedic falls.