Pet sitting makes babysitting look easy
It is tough to take a vacation when you have pets. It’s hard to find someone, anyone, willing to take care of them while you’re away and it’s even tougher when the pets are my pets. They’re needy. Needy like, they only drink spring water. That needy.
The subjects in question are Monty, a fluffy white Havanese — basically a small circus dog whose best attribute is that he’s supposedly hypoallergenic.
Then there’s Eddie, the supposedly miniature dachshund who doesn’t know he’s a miniature. He eats like he’s Michael Phelps training for the Olympics — or at least he’d like to. We watch him. One time we didn’t watch him and he found a six-inch sub, snuck it off to a bedroom and feasted. It was like a snake eating a cow.
Possibly the most demanding of the three is Maggie the cat. I don’t understand her. She doesn’t do much except eat and use a litter box. She uses the litter box a lot. Unlike some cats, she exclusively uses a litter box and never, ever, goes outside. In fact, I have seen her meow at the door to come in from outside so she could use the litter box. I don’t enjoy this trait.
Maggie the cat isn’t very affectionate. The only time she will seek attention from me is when I sit on the couch late at night with my feet up and a bowl of cereal on my chest. She senses it and hops up and starts rubbing on me. It looks like love, but I think she’s just trying to spitefully get cat hair in my cereal bowl. I could be misreading her, but I don’t think I am.
We have always had trouble finding people to care for our animals. It’s a challenge to bring them to someone else’s home because they like their own house and they do not hold back their opinions. They will howl, yowl or try to escape if we try taking them to a sitter’s house.
This past weekend we went away and were thrilled that my sister-in-law volunteered to stay at our house with all three animals. This was very kind and brave. I left her some good instructions. Here they are …
Monty and Eddie will sleep in their kennels in their own bedroom. To put them to bed, first let them out to pee. You have to watch and get visual confirmation — especially with hotdog Eddie. He does not pee if it’s too cold, windy, rainy, damp or scary outside. He will pretend. He will go out, stand around for an appropriate amount of time, bark to come in, pee on the floor and seek out a stray sixinch sub.
Once urination is complete, get them each a baby carrot. They will take it from here, sprinting to their kennels. Give them the carrots and they will be fine until morning which can come any time between 6 and 9:15 a.m.
The breakfast routine with the three of them is an elaborate dance. I’ve gotten good at it, but it can be intimidating for a pet sitter. First, let them out of their kennels and walk them to the door. Let them out and, again, obtain visual confirmation.
When they come in, Eddie gets onethird of a cup of dry dog food served in his kennel with the door closed to ensure he doesn’t also eat Monty’s rations. He would try. Don’t think he wouldn’t.
Add one-third of a cup of dry dog food to Monty’s dish, BUT mix in a small amount of wet food otherwise he won’t eat it and Eddie might get it. While Monty is eating, feed Maggie the cat a mixture of a can of wet food that smells like old tires and a little dry food. Place Maggie’s food dish on a TV tray so the dogs, especially Eddie, can’t get reach it. He would try. Don’t think he wouldn’t.
Let the dogs out again. Obtain visual confirmation of possible number ones, but mostly number twos.
After breakfast, they ideally like to go to our bed for a snuggle under the blankets. No further attention is required. They will be snoring in mere moments.
When it’s time to get up for the day, they will be happy watching TV and sitting on a lap or they enjoy a little activity, like a (I’m whispering now) “w-a-l-k.” They should accept you as a member of the pack by now and while you may look at them and wonder what they are thinking, I can tell you for certain. They are thinking about supper.