Family-vacation paradox: Going away is exhausting
The worst thing about going on vacation is how much work it is.
First, there’s figuring out a place to go. Finding a cottage rental for August is easy-peasy if the search begins in February but we started looking in ... well, August, so our options were fairly limited and insanely expensive.
We did, however, get bailed out by a family member with a cottage so, other than an majorly long drive, that worked out fine. Now, it’s just a matter of getting everything ready to go. Which takes forever.
First, there are work matters, essentially doing two weeks of stuff in the five days leading up to the holiday. The definition of “vacation” is literally “freedom from obligations, leisure, release” but it was coined from 14th-century Latin before the invention of cellphones.
I don’t even bother setting my email auto-reply anymore.
Then there’s the house and the dog to consider. Do we shut everything off and hope for the best? Get a house sitter? Bring the pooch, who will most likely vomit multiple times on the car ride then bark at every strange noise for a week, or bribe my mom (with white wine) to look after him, while racked with guilt for leaving him behind.
Our kids are older now and more capable of looking after themselves — travelling with toddlers is the ultimate antivacation — but leave them to pack on their own and they are likely to forget something essential like a sweater, a bathing suit or a single pair of underwear that we will then be forced into seeking out and overpaying for in some small-town specialty store.
Then there are entertainment requirements. In addition to needing TV shows and movies to watch on the car ride, there is the kids’ wailing after being informed there will be no Wi-Fi on the car trip — and that data overages are punishable by the death of Instagram accounts.
For me, I need to find a good book or seven and procure a bottle or two of my favourite alcoholic beverage.
My clothing choices must be heavy on the comfortable, and buttons are to be avoided at all costs. A hat, that keeps the sun out of my eyes and looks OK with sunglasses but still embarrasses my children with its utter lack of style, is a must.
Clothes packed, food and drink selected, dog instructions typed out in triplicate, iPads charged, car all gassed up and we are finally ready to go.
OK, let’s do this.
Yet the idea of being relaxed is very exciting, if likely unattainable.
“Dad … I have to go pee.”