Mickelson-Woods match is a turkey stuffed with manufactured animosity

The shopping free-for-all that is Black Friday arrives this year on Nov. 23.

Red, White and Blue Friday for American golf comes nearly two months before that, when the 42nd Ryder Cup matches begin Sept. 28 in Paris.

That day, if U.S. captain Jim Furyk’s wild-card picks go as expected, Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson will wear their country’s colours and tee it up in the always tense and usually entertaining competition against Europe. The Ryder Cup matters, just as the major championships do. Careers are defined. Ask Ian Poulter and Sergio Garcia. Legacies are established. Talk to Justin Leonard about that.

We care because the motivation and the emotions are genuine.

Woods and Mickelson know that better than anybody, which is why this sham of a golf match that they’ve put together for Las Vegas at Shadow Creek, likely on the day after Thanksgiving, is both laughable and insulting. Black Friday, all right. For golf. On the last weekend in September, anybody can turn on their television to see the roles Mickelson and Woods will play in the team drama — though Furyk is far too wise to repeat Hal Sutton’s blunder of 2004 when he paired the two. They barely spoke and were beaten twice on the first day.

Then in November, the players, their agents and TV executives want us to fork over money (price tag unknown) for a pay-per-view broadcast to watch goofy (because it’s Phil), forced banter while they play 18 meaningless holes for a supposed winner’s take of US$9 million.

I say supposed, because there’s so much that seems disingenuous about this thing that I’m not sure what to believe.

This is so phoney that the original web poster for it had Tiger swinging a left-handed driver. These promoters really know their golf.

How did this even get on the drawing board? Probably not the way it’s been portrayed, as some off-the-cuff locker-room needling between the two that grew into something more.

More likely, some suits posed the idea to two aging stars who certainly have a lot of cash to gain and nothing to lose, other than some respect and dignity.

Then the concept got shopped around, like a homeless sitcom, though the big networks apparently wouldn’t touch it — so it ends up as pay-per-view because somebody found some suckers at AT&T and Turner Sports.

Pay-per-view! Outrageous Laughable. That’s what I’ve heard from every corner of golf.

Phil and Tiger have appeared a combined 34 times on network television this year. In May, they played the first two rounds of the Players Championship together; neither one broke par and Woods smoked Mickelson by seven shots.

But we’re supposed to care about this because they’re suddenly buddy-buddy and thought this would be fun.

“How many times have we all purchased fights?” Woods rationalized.

Yes, Tiger, to watch people who have trained for months, who might spill blood, who might lose consciousness, pummel each other for a real belt.

You and Phil promise blood, or at least something more interesting than a longest drive competition and maybe I’m in.