Should I bother getting dressed?

Yes, says The Kit’s editor-at-large, but it doesn’t matter how you look

I have to admit that when social distancing first started, I kind of loved staying in PJs all day and taking a break from my former workwear. That initial buzz has been replaced by a kind of apathy, though. Should I be trying harder when it comes to style? Will that break me out of my funk? — Sheryl, Toronto

As the pandemic has dragged on, a few handy litmus tests have cropped up to gauge how we’re each handling the changes that have swept through our lives. Much has been said about baking habits, for example: It seems like those who crave structure have fallen hard for finicky sourdough; those who crave consolation are mixing up sweet-and-simple banana bread; those who have gone numb are eating Oreos while staring out the window like a house cat and waiting for the world to open up again.

Pants can serve as a similar lightning rod: Those who want to feel productive have been wearing jeans — or maybe even the occasional co-ordinated outfit; those who want a sartorial hug are wearing cosy sweats; those who are still hearing the buzz of adrenalin in their ears are wearing only pyjamas — from last night or the night before, maybe — who knows anymore.

It’s safe to say that while we’ve all developed different ways of getting through the days, we’re all just looking for a sense of safety. (I’m also waiting for someone to come up with an Oreo sourdough loaf to cater to my range of moods. Is it possible? My sourdough starter stopped on Day 6 and my kids ate all the Oreos, so I’ll never know.)

“People are feeling insecure or vulnerable right now,” agrees Erin Junker, owner of the Happy Sleep Company, who has spent five years coaching stressed parents on the life-changing importance of routine. “For babies and toddlers, structure is what makes them feel safe. When we give children cues about what’s about to happen next through routine — like taking a bath before bedtime, putting on pyjamas, reading a book — it signals to them that they can feel comfortable and confident in what’s about to happen. They aren’t just left thinking: ‘What’s going on? What will happen next?’ ”

Does that chain of addled thought sound familiar? I called Junker because the emotional turmoil of the past month has reminded me, in many ways, of what life was like with a newborn: a disorienting, scary, unstructured, overwhelming swirl of confusing feeling that somehow managed to instantly crystalize my priorities. So if mastering the importance of routine is the way forward when faced with caring for a baby who seemingly never sleeps, then perhaps it is also the solution in this altogether different situation. “When everything has changed around you, it can be useful to try to incorporate elements of normalcy so that your ‘new normal’ feels more comfortable,” says Junker reassuringly.

The key, of course, is zeroing in on a routine that truly comforts you, rather than confines you.

Junker, a self-described A-type, explains that when her family was first confined to their home, she was on crutches after injuring her foot. “I was figuring out how to get groceries; I was in sweatpants and didn’t shower for three days because I couldn’t get my foot wet,” she explains. “I normally get up at 6 o’clock to shower, get dressed and get ready to take on the day, so I can’t remember the last time I felt so out of sorts. My family was on edge, and I felt chaotic.”

So the question you need to answer is more about your soul than style: Will putting on pants soothe you at your core? While staying in PJs gives you an immediate high — like say, rewatching “Love Is Blind” on Netflix while eating Doritos for dinner — working to preserve a semblance of structure may let you breathe easier in the long run.

Anyone who has ever sleep-trained a child knows that there is an initial resistance to the concept of routine — you have to push through a few days of yelling and body-on-the-floor tantrums before the process feels familiar enough for things to flow more easily. So while your stressed-out and exhausted brain might initially resist the idea of taking off your pyjamas and putting on clothes every morning, it will likely eventually add welcome structure to your days and help to define the now-all-too-blurry line between day and night.

But let me be clear: I am in no way suggesting that you bust open your drycleaning bags of blazers and slacks and start blow-drying your hair. Adding structure doesn’t mean ignorantly pretending that life is marching on, business as usual. And though I love fashion, I really don’t think it matters what you look like these days, unless it matters to you. (Ask my husband: I haven’t worn anything with a true waistband since this crisis started.) But I believe that showering, brushing your hair, putting on clean comfortable clothes is an easy way to show your subconscious that life is moving forward in small steps. And, more importantly, apply those same small steps to every other facet, too: Eat nutritious food when you can, try to stick to a regular sleep schedule, limit your mindless screen time a bit, make sure to get some fresh air every day — and whenever the sun is shining, bask in it for a moment, looking up at the vast sky, which, despite everything, still dazzles when it’s that perfect crisp shade of blue. You don’t need to shock your system by forcing yourself to bake ornate sourdoughs, but you will definitely feel unwell if you only eat stale Oreos.

“Now that my family has gotten into a bit of a groove and has worked toward more structured days, we have grown more patient and are less quick to snap at each other,” says Junker. “It goes back to that idea that we, as human beings, like structure. It’s great to have adventures, but as a norm, we feel comfortable and safe when we have some level of predictability about our day.”