Pride flag should never be replaced
I am the gay former vice-principal of a Catholic high school mentioned in Luisa D’Amato’s May 27 article.
Firstly, I want to say that I was a very proud member of the Waterloo Catholic District School Board for 28 years. It is an excellent school board with an amazing, committed, faithfilled staff. Its present director, Loretta Notten, is a caring, compassionate and competent leader. I appreciate the tightrope she must walk daily in the area of support for LGBTQ+ students.
She and the board of trustees have to navigate the mandates of the Catholic Church (as represented by the Institute for Catholic Education), as well as the variant views of students, staff, and community members. Added into the mix as well are opposing views among the trustees themselves.
I walked the tightrope of supporting LGBTQ+ students and their families in Catholic schools for nearly three decades. I know that terrain well, along with the pressures it presents. So I deeply empathize with all that has recently been unfolding.
So, what does one do when the church hierarchy (and some trustees) pressure Catholic boards to refrain from flying the Pride flag, amid LGBTQ+ students and their allies saying it is important to do so? You do what is right.
Catholic school boards exist to educate, nurture, support, and spiritually form and guide young people. ALL young people. Boards are called to reach out and protect the most vulnerable, and LGBTQ+ students are among that group. Their depression, addiction, and suicide rates are three times higher than heterosexual students.
Refusing to raise the Pride flag, a powerful symbol representing the LGBTQ+ community, sends the message (intended or not) that these students and staff do not belong in Catholic schools, and that perhaps their schools even feel ashamed of them, in not wanting to acknowledge and celebrate them publicly.
I know beyond doubt, having been part of the Waterloo Catholic board, that this message would be inconsistent with what the board practices. It has good people doing wonderful work in supporting LGBTQ+ students.
I actually like the flag recently revealed, which depicts an open-armed Jesus proclaiming that everyone is wonderfully made. I would suggest placing that flag in every Catholic school foyer. But it should not be a replacement for the cherished and celebrated Pride flag, which represents so much to the LGBTQ+ community: hope, freedom from oppression, acceptance, diversity, equality, and a reminder of the sacrifices made by so many LGBTQ+ people to pave the way for others.
It would be disrespectful to try to replace a symbol so deeply embedded in LGBTQ+ culture, particularly with a flag (as I understand) that has not been designed in consultation with LGBTQ+ students and staff.
It may be hard for some of you who do not identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community to understand what this feels like, so let me try to give an example, acknowledging that any example will not fully “cut it.” But here we go:
How would you feel as a Canadian if a group of Americans (or a group from any other country for that matter) decided that they would create a new Canadian flag and replace the one with the maple leaf? This July1, in order to celebrate your pride as a Canadian, you will not be allowed to fly the maple leaf flag, but rather one created by an outside group to represent you. I am guessing that many of you would struggle with the suggestion of a replacement.
One of the things I appreciate about Catholicism is its rich use of symbols. Liturgists remind us of their efficacy and power. The Pride flag is a deeply meaningful symbol for the LGBTQ+ community, and as such needs to be honoured and respected.
Much wisdom lies in the Vatican II document “The Church in the Modern World.” It challenges Catholics to read the “signs of the times” and work to make God real and relevant for each age. Catholic school boards have a powerful opportunity to do just that by ensuring that LGBTQ+ students, staff, and their families know unequivocally that they are a valued part of their school communities.
It is time to leave fear, ignorance, and exclusion behind. It is not of God, it is far from what Jesus modelled, and it has exacted too high a cost for LGBTQ+ young people and staff for far too long.
The Pride flag should never be replaced. It is better to not fly anything during the month of June than try to replace it. At least this would make a more honest statement — that Catholic schools are not willing to accept and celebrate their LGBTQ+ students. What is frustrating to me is that I know this is far from the truth.
As previously said, I worked alongside many committed, compassionate people in the Waterloo Catholic board, staff members who went out of their way to support these kids. So why would the board not reflect on the outside, the compassionate care and support they give LGBTQ+ students on the inside?
We know why. It is time to name the truth, as ugly as it is. Homophobia and transphobia still exist — in our broader culture, in some of our families, and yes, sadly, in some of our churches.
Catholic boards are under tremendous pressure to do what is asked of them by the official church. So, in essence, in asking Catholic school boards to fly the Pride flag we are asking them to have the courage to stand up to the Catholic Church. No easy task! But it must be done. From my work with LGBTQ+ students over the years I know first hand that it can literally be a matter of life or death.
As we know, change often happens from the bottom up, not from the top down. If I, alongside other committed educators, had waited for the Institute of Catholic Education’s permission to support
LGBTQ+ students, we would have waited a very long time, and lives could have been lost.
The Institute of Catholic Education is held by its own internal pressures. We just stepped in and began doing what needed to be done to support and care for LGBTQ+ students. And yes, admittedly at times it was far from easy. In fact, most of the time it was far from easy, but it was what we were called to do.
Edmund Burke states: “All it takes for evil to persist is for good people to do nothing.” This quote has always haunted me in the healthiest of ways. And it should. It should haunt all of us.
All students in the care of educators should feel seen, heard, and valued. It can be hard work, but there is nothing more rewarding than helping to ensure all kids feel loved and accepted, and finally be in the heart space to catch a glimpse of their own divine beauty.
So I respectfully challenge Catholic school boards — for God’s sake (literally and figuratively), fly the actual Pride flag. When you act out of integrity and the prophetic call of the gospel and do the right thing, you can trust that there will be many to support you when the kickback comes. And it will come.
I think that singer /songwriter Bruce Cockburn says it best: “But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Got to kick at the darkness ’til it bleeds daylight.”
Waterloo Catholic District School Board, for the sake of vulnerable kids, please keep kicking!
It is not a sin to be gay or transgender. It is not a sin to feel proud of who you are. LGBTQ+ students and staff should feel pride in acknowledging and celebrating the wonderful people God created them to be.
Victor Hugo stated: “There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.” Well, the time has indeed come.
It is time to courageously take a stand and proclaim publicly that LGBTQ+ students and staff matter. I invite local priests to stand alongside the school board in taking this courageous step forward. I can assure you that LGBTQ+ students and staff are watching your actions very closely. What message will you ultimately send them, their families, and the community?
You’ve got this, Waterloo Catholic board. Lead the way like you have a long tradition of doing.