Choose two good smells for the rest of your life

I stole this philosophical question from a couple of radio morning show hosts. Unafraid to tackle the deepest of issues, I heard them pondering what they would choose if they were eternally limited to being able to recognize just two smells.

I think it’s a great question. Feel free to use it as an icebreaker at your next cocktail party — if cocktail parties are ever a thing again.

Two smells. That’s it. For the rest of your life.

There is so much to consider here. But first, why is this important?

I’ve read that our sense of smell is responsible for a huge portion of our ability to taste. And tasting things is either awesome or a warning that the sour cream has turned and eating it will end in violent illness.

It’s also a good question because it gives smell the attention it deserves. Of all the senses, it might be fair to say smell is most overlooked and underappreciated.

Are there any superheroes with an enhanced sense of smell? Have there been any movies focused on someone overcoming a smell disorder? Even when it’s right in the title, Scent of a Woman is really about a blind Al Pacino. He could smell just fine.

Then again, if you watch TV, read or scroll, you can’t miss how important smell is when it goes wrong. How many billions are we spending every year on deodorant, gum, mouthwash, air fresheners, air purifiers, insoles, powders, creams, incense and little pine-tree-shaped cardboard things dangling from our rear-view mirrors?

We do care about smell but we care mostly when it’s a bad smell.

So what about the good smells and what if you could only have two of them in your life forever.

One thing jumps to mind right away. Coffee.

I love the smell of coffee as whole beans, ground or poured in my cup. Ahhh. Coffee. Plus, is there any substance in the world with the power to send people to the bathroom just from its smell?

I don’t think anything could unseat coffee from my twosmell list.

Then it gets tricky. Right away I start thinking about other things I like to eat or drink. Popcorn … toast … hot chocolate … bacon … the neighbours’ barbecue.

Some people might not want to live their remaining days without being able to smell a fine wine or a good, hoppy IPA.

Maybe. But then I thought, what are some smells that we actively try to fill our lives with.

I’ve got it! When we’re trying to sell a house, the real estate agent encourages us to try to make our house smell like … cookies!

Of course. Cookies have the power to make us overlook the fact that the closets are kind of small or there is a meth house right next door.

Weirdly, I kind of like the whiff of gasoline. Not, like, a lot but it reminds me of childhood when we’d stop to fill the tank at a full-service station and the guy would bring out that tiny clipboard to sign the credit card bill on.

Then again, and I don’t like admitting this, how much is our decision to purchase a new vehicle swayed by something as simple as “new car smell.”

Even if we are looking at a used car, if it’s clean and has been doused in whatever car dealers use to create this magic vehicular cologne known as new car smell, we’re sold.

“I don’t know that I need a whole new car. I just need a headlamp replaced. But this car smells brand new and my car smells like McNuggets and wet dog. I’ll take it!”

It may not be wise to overlook the multi-gazillion dollar scent industry though. There is a lot of money plowed into research and development of what we want our mouths, armpits and living rooms to smell like. White Linen, Lilac Dream, Fresh Surf, Arctic Blast, Mountain Stream — we don’t know what any of these things are supposed to smell like but we like it and we buy it and we go around begging people to smell it. Hey, smell this. You like this. It’s Honeydew Fjord. It’s great huh?

What are your two smells and only two smells? Email me with “Hey, smell this” in the subject line.