Tips for a safe ride from an annoying, know-it-all cyclist

Dear New Cyclist:

First and foremost, welcome to the tribe! Though it may have taken a global health crisis to finally get you off your duff and onto what is likely a surprisingly comfortable bike saddle, we veteran cyclists are still very excited to see you. We’re a bit cultish in that way: we want more people to join us, in part so we can use them for our (not really) nefarious purposes.

But more on that later. First, let’s go over some basics that will improve your overall cycling experience and have the added benefit of helping you not die — the very definition of win, a very big win.

I guess if I’m going to be doling out advice I should probably establish my bona-fides. I’ve been riding bikes all my life and very seriously for the last 20 years or so. I am one of those spandex-clad guys who owns a fancy, expensive bike.

I also commute and shop on a 30-year-old steel bike my mom bought me in university. I’m one of those idiots who rides in the winter. In other words, I am not just one kind of annoying, know-it-all cyclist — I am several kinds of annoying, knowit-all cyclist.

OK, so you are one of those people who have recently pillaged a local store for a new bike. Maybe you got one for the whole crew. Or perhaps you have dusted off the oldie but still rideable machine that’s been stuffed into the far reaches of your garage or basement. Either way, you’re ready to roll.

But first, let’s make sure the thing works. I’ve seen (and heard) a number of twowheeled jalopies out there recently. Squeaky, squeally brakes. Comically underinflated tires. Drive trains so parched for lubricant they grind their teeth in anguish with each pedal stroke.

There is undoubtedly a decent bike store nearby that could help. There are a number of home mechanics who advertise online and I’ve had success with them, too.

There are plenty of YouTube videos for the simple stuff. But make sure the bike works: nothing introduces face to asphalt more quickly than a catastrophic mechanical failure.

Just in case, get a helmet. And not just for your kid or your spouse but for yourself, too. Statistics show that wearing a skid lid can significantly reduce the risk of serious injury in the event of a crash. I never, ever ride without one no matter how short, slow and seemingly safe the ride. You should, too.

Another thing that helps with safety? Following the rules of the road (and please stay off the sidewalk unless you’re a tiny kid.)

But yes, stop signs still apply — along with everything else. The single biggest complaint from drivers is always that cyclists ride in a dangerous and reckless manner. Also, you could die.

At the same time, now that you’re a cyclist, maybe you can drive your car a little differently, give a little more space, be a little more patient. Even in your car, you can still be on team cyclist.

Bike lanes are your friend. Most cities have their dedicated cycling tracks on a map somewhere on the web and Google Maps allows cycling to be selected when picking a route.

Bike lanes don’t solve every problem and they aren’t 100 per cent safe but they are almost always the best choice when trying to get from A to B in an urban area.

Speaking of which, we could use more bike lanes and that’s where you can help. As the number of cyclists increases in the wake of COVID-19, elected officials are moving to improve the infrastructure that supports them. They need encouragement and we can all do that.

All right, that’s enough yammering. It’s a beautiful day for a bike ride because that’s every day.

So let’s get out there, be safe and have some fun.