Kitchener school cancels Valentine’s
Parents told not to have kids bring cards or treats. Is it time for an ‘evolution’ of the day of love?
There will be no anonymous love letters or gifts of chocolates tucked inside backpacks at Jean Steckle Public School this year.
The Kitchener K-6 school has decided not to celebrate the February holiday, and has asked students not to exchange Valentine’s Day cards or treats.
“While we acknowledge the celebration of Valentine’s Day, and are mindful of the popularity of that day, it is not celebrated by all students/families in our community,” a notice sent to parents reads. “It is essential that all students feel welcomed and reflected at school, and that our celebrations do not negatively impact our families and students.”
The note asks parents not to send their kids to school with Valentine’s Day cards or food items as “we will not be doing any class or school wide celebration.”
The decision has led to some pushback from parents and community members, with one Cambridge parent writing to the Waterloo Region District School Board to say they feel “ashamed and embarrassed by this decision.”
Decisions on in-school celebrations are made by each individual school and are not board-wide, said board spokesperson Estefania Rodriguez.
“Valentine’s Day is widely observed and has the potential to cause financial strain on families in order to purchase cards or sweets,” said Rodriguez. “Additionally, Valentine’s Day is often celebrated through candy and sweets which are inconsistent with the Healthy Schools approach. So, with this in mind, some schools may choose to not have Valentine’s celebrations but some might note the day.”
Rodriguez couldn’t confirm whether any other schools in the board were also choosing not to celebrate the day.
While the history of Valentine’s Day is uncertain, its origins have been linked to the Roman feast of Lupercalia, an ancient fertility festival marked every year from Feb. 13 to 15.
Later, in the fifth century, Pope Gelasius I declared Feb. 14 St. Valentine’s Day. However, it is not known who the day is dedicated to, as three different Saint Valentines were martyred on Feb. 14.
The first recorded mention of Valentine’s Day in connection to romance is from Geoffrey Chaucer’s poem “Parlement of Foules” in 1382.
The first recorded Valentine’s Day greeting dates to 1415 when the French Duke of Orleans, imprisoned in the Tower of London, wrote to his wife: “I am already sick of love, my very gentle Valentine.”
Valentine’s Day cards became common in the 18th century, anonymously slipped under the front door of homes. Advances in printing soon led to the mass-production of Valentine’s Day cards, still a staple of the holiday in western countries.
While some may see the modern holiday as a day of innocent romance, it has been banned in countries such as Iran and Pakistan, and
has been harshly criticized in other Muslim countries where opponents argue the celebration goes against Islamic culture.
Now, as the demographic makeup of public schools changes in Canada, the types of holidays traditionally celebrated in schools are coming under the microscope.
“I remember exchanging valentines as a kid and enjoying it. Of course, back then it wasn’t great for everyone, as some kids received lots of valentines and others received little or none,” said Gary Foster, a philosophy professor at Wilfrid Laurier University who researches the relationship between love and personal identity.
Schools are more in tune with the possible drawbacks of the holiday today, he said, and many require students to give valentines to everyone in their class, a “better arrangement” than when Foster was young.
Foster is of two minds about cancelling the holiday in school.
On the one hand, he said, Canada has a much more diverse population than it once did, and the rituals around Valentine’s Day are not part of everyone’s culture or heritage.
Not everyone has the same view of love or wants the same message about romantic love to shape the thoughts of their children, he said. From this perspective, celebrating Valentine’s Day at school can be a way of excluding or marginalizing certain kids.
But that isn’t necessarily the end of the conversation, he said.
“If we do value romantic love — and it seems that many of us do, even if we do so in different ways — then Valentine’s Day might provide an opportunity to talk to children about diverse ideas of love,” he said.
“It might allow kids to see that love — even what we call romantic love — takes different forms and our dominant western way of viewing this is only one of those forms.”
Foster doesn’t blame schools for choosing not to celebrate Valentine’s Day, and said we often overlook how alien certain ideas might be to a growing number of people.
However, a more positive approach might involve rethinking Valentine’s Day in a way that is more inclusive and also educational.
“Just as the ritual of exchanging Valentine’s cards in my day evolved to become more inclusive, so I think the idea behind the day can evolve further to present a more nuanced message,” he said.
“Cancelling something isn’t always the best solution. But again, until a thoughtful solution is arrived at, it might be a temporary measure.”