HERE COMES (THE MOTHER OF) THE BRIDE
Long, short, florals and even pants can work for the big day — just don’t mimic your daughter’s look
When the telephone call heralded the announcement, “We’re engaged,” my reaction was predictably, “It’s about time.” All right, I did say congratulations but after five years of togetherness, it had seemed like a wedding was inevitable for my daughter and future son-in-law.
So after those sudden images of wedding gowns, bridal bouquets and Pinterest decor ideas stopped dancing around in my head, the next thought was of panic. “What am I going to wear?” Apparently that thought occurred quite quickly to the groom’s mother, too. So where to start? First step for any mother of bride or groom, in deciding what sartorial stunner to don, is remembering that it is NOT your wedding.
Yes, one wants to look fabulous, but the star attractions at the event are the bride and groom. The rest of the wedding party and family are the supporting cast. One friend recounted attending a wedding in which the groom’s mother displayed the bad judgment of wearing a full-length white gown with a train. Not an auspicious beginning for that marriage.
That said, mothers of the bride (MOB) or groom (MOG) are certainly not limited to short dresses — just don’t mimic the bride.
These days, there are a greater number of options for achieving the perfect look suitable for the occasion. While some might opt for the restrained, yet flawless, elegance of Carole Middleton when she attended her daughter Kate’s wedding to Prince William, there are just as many more casual and stylish options for mothers of brides and grooms — especially if the reception is an outdoor affair.
“I think there is a casualness that we are seeing in weddings in 2017. Many brides are opting for a destination wedding or something toned down. We are seeing beautiful suits coming back to style for the MOB or MOG. Elegant and well-cut blazers and skirts are being worn in lieu of ball gowns,” says Jessica Mulroney, of Kleinfeld, Hudson’s Bay.
Trousers, paired with either a jacket or a dress for a more glamorous spin, have definitely become an option — even for a formal reception.
“Layering pants underneath a midi dress is extremely chic, fashionable and flattering,” says Sonia Martin, vice-president of women’s design at Banana Republic.
“Alternatively,” she suggests, “go for a head-to-toe look (with) the statement suit, whether it’s in bright colour or pattern . ... Accessories also play a huge part: rather than statement jewelry everywhere, focus on one part and amplify. Statement earrings really pop when worn alone. Our silk scarves also add a chic, alternative to dress the neck.”
When it comes to finding the most flattering fit, couture designer Jason Matlo says the neckline is key: “I tend to like a V-neck on everybody’s body because it opens up the neckline. It elongates. It gives more of an opportunity for jewelry.”
That said, he says most of his clientele, in the over-40 range, prefer a bateau neckline and want some sort of sleeve which for a summer wedding can be a challenge.
“For one mother of the bride, we did a full sleeve that went to the cuff. We did what is called a split sleeve,” Matlo says. “So you’ve got coverage. Basically from the cuff to the shoulder line it’s open. You’ve got sleeve there but you’ve got the arm through and a bit of air flow through. It really depends. You could do a very circular, kind of ’30s sleeve so it’s not tight to the body and something in chiffon or something lightweight.”
And that’s when going for a couture dress versus ready-to-wear can be the way to achieve a stylish but unique look. Although the cost is higher ($1,500 to $5,000) than off-the-rack, the result is a perfect fit.
“It’s going to fit you like no other garment. It’s not the same as buying a dress off the rack. Even if you go up to a $3,000 (one), yes it’s beautifully made, the fabric is gorgeous but it was not made for you. It was made on a carbine model (an actual couture model, not a mannequin) in a standard fit and you pay a lot of money for alterations to tailor it to your body or just wear it as is.
“You can’t change it. You’re buying the thing on the rack and there are many of them.”
According to Martin, one of the most flattering and fashion-forward trends that transcends age, and works well for the mature woman, is the off-the-shoulder detail.
“It’s key to accentuate your favourite feature of your body, whether it be shoulders, waist, legs, décolletage. Throw the focus and eye in one clear direction. Also look for expert tailoring and bi-stretch fabric that help refine and sculpt a silhouette like our bistretch side-peplum sheath.”
Martin says to look for “spring ’s romantic pleats, ruffles and bow details” to add interest to a wedding look.
“Spring florals are always flattering, adding subtle playfulness to both church wedding and garden receptions. Maxi dresses are also versatile and perfect for either dressing up or down depending your venue,” she adds.
Mulroney points out that if you opt for wearing a pattern, it’s best to make sure it complements the overall colour scheme or it might stand out too much in photos.
For colour, she suggests subdued hues such as lavender, silvers and blues but advises that anything in the white, champagne or ivory family should be avoided.
“Black can suggest mourning, but this tends to be a bit of an old rule,” she says. “As a mother, you are not a bridesmaid! Therefore you should have your pick of most colours — you did raise them, so you deserve it!”
That said, to what degree should the mother of the bride and mother of groom’s outfits co-ordinate with the bridal party? Mulroney says that though some brides insist that everything should co-ordinate, mixing and matching can also be very stylish: “The most important thing is that both mothers co-ordinate on style and colour.”