Cyber vigilance critical to good parenting
Don’t spy on your children online, be upfront about tracking them
Do you know where your children are — when it comes to being online? Well, you better.
The recent case of the 42-yearold Australian man impersonating Justin Bieber to obtain nude photos and videos from innocent teenagers is why you need to be cyber vigilant.
This is far from an isolated case — “children need more digital education and that parents need to be involved in their kids’ lives, both digital and not,” says Devorah Heitner, founder of Raising Digital Natives.
A terrifying video warning of the dangers of online grooming is garnering millions of YouTube views — released by the Leicestershire police in the U.K., it features the heartbreaking story of 15-year-old Kayleigh Haywood who was raped and murdered after meeting someone online.
Kayleigh’s Love Story, created with her parents’ permission, all started out so innocently for her, and ended so tragically.
Digital technology is the very fabric of adolescence.
Go for mentoring rather than monitoring, says Heitner, author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in their Digital World (Routledge, 2016).
Have open conversations about risks and how to stay safe online.
“Spying on kids covertly is not as helpful as directly mentoring them, and if you choose to track them, let them know you are doing so, so that you can discuss any concerns with them,” says Heitner.
“If you covertly spy, how bad does it have to get before you let your child know you are there? You don’t want to encourage your child to be sneaky, so you want to be sure they know you are a safe person to talk with about any dilemmas, online or off.”
Simply keeping connected devices out of bedrooms overnight can help, as kids may make worse decisions alone late at night, she adds.
Take Heitner’s tips on keeping kids digitally safe:
Get acquainted with your kids’ app worlds now. Are they age appropriate? In line with your values? Get social media savvy. Be upfront about any monitoring apps you put on their devices.
When kids play games like Minecraft on a public server, other users may use language or behave inappropriately. Seek out someone to create a secure server for your kids and their friends.
Get your child to point out any inappropriate messages they may get.
“Your home isn’t the only place your children will access the Internet.
“Don’t delude yourself — it is an unfiltered world out there,” says Heitner.
Be the parent that has unplugged meals with your family, adds Heitner.
Model focused conversation, eye-contact, and turning off all devices during family time, otherwise it will be very difficult to get your teen or tween to unplug and be present — ever.