WHAT TO SNOW ABOUT MLS CUP
A guide for the uninitiated to the championship game in Toronto
Two weeks after a team from Toronto played for a football championship in the snow, a team from Toronto will play for a football championship in (possibly) the snow. But different football this time. Yes, it is the MLS Cup at BMO Field on Saturday afternoon, which is no doubt causing several readers to say: Sorry, the what now?
It is for those readers, as a public service, that we present this primer.
If the MLS Cup would be the first soccer game you watch this year, fear not, for here is your Guide to the Football With the Round Balls.
WHAT’S THE MATCHUP?
Toronto FC — no formal nickname, which can be a soccer thing — meet the Seattle Sounders in the final, a rematch of last year’s MLS Cup, which was also at BMO Field. Seattle won that game 0-0.
BUT, I MEAN, WHAT?
The game was scoreless after 90 minutes and again after 30 minutes of extra time; then Seattle won the penalty shootout.
THAT SEEMS LIKE A SILLY WAY TO DECIDE A CHAMPIONSHIP.
Especially when Seattle didn’t get a shot on goal in the first 120 minutes. But there isn’t much choice. Absent a shootout in soccer, the championship match might not end before the next season begins.
WHO ARE THE PLAYERS TO WATCH?
Start with Sebastian Giovinco. Toronto FC’s Italian striker is the highest-paid player in MLS at about $7 million annually, and that’s kind of a bargain. He is also impossibly tiny. Giovinco is one of the best players in the world at taking free kicks, and a threat to score if TFC is awarded one anywhere in shooting range of the goal.
FREE KICKS?
The thing where one team kicks from a spot where a foul occurred and the other team sets up a wall of defenders 10 yards away. Then those guys stand with their hands over their sensitive boy parts. Giovinco is a magician with such spot kicks. Look up his highlight reels: so many goalkeepers, soaring in vain.
SO HE PLAYS FOR THE ITALIAN NATIONAL TEAM?
Not recently. DIDN’T THEY FAIL TO QUALIFY FOR THE WORLD CUP FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE 1950S? This is true. AND THIS FABULOUS GOAL-SCORER WAS NOT ON THE SQUAD? (Shrug emoji) WHAT ABOUT SEATTLE? WHO TO WATCH THERE?
Forward Clint Dempsey is probably the greatest American player ever, and he missed last year’s MLS Cup because he was diagnosed with an irregular heartbeat. At 34, this game has swan-song potential for him. Also, goalkeeper Stefan Frei, who was formerly the Toronto FC keeper.
OOOH! DOUBLE AGENT!
It was Frei who kept TFC off the board last year and was named MLS Cup MVP. If he’s a double agent, he has some seriously deep cover.
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT SNOW?
The forecast for Saturday afternoon is for the temperature to be right around freezing, with the potential for flurries. Not typical soccer weather. But also not surprising. Here was TFC captain Michael Bradley on the expected weather: “It’s gonna be cold. It’s Toronto in December.”
This analysis checks out.
SO BRING YOUR WOOLLIES.
Correct. The 30,000-plus at BMO Field should be well insulated. And also well lubricated, most likely. The atmosphere should be wild in a good way, unless there is a repeat of the madness in the Toronto-New York game that led to suspensions. Then it could get wild in an ugly way.
SUSPENSIONS, YOU SAY?
Giovinco missed a match because he accumulated two yellow cards and striker Jozy Altidore missed the same one because he got a red card for a halftime fight against New York.
YELLOW CARDS?
Sort of the soccer version of a penalty. You commit a foul and the referee holds up a yellow card to admonish you. Then he writes your name in a little book. It looks like he’s about to give you a ticket, which would be great, but no, just the name in the little book. Two yellows in the same game, or a particularly bad foul, means a red card. Then you get kicked out of the match. And you feel shame.
SO, WHO’S THE FAVOURITE?
Toronto opened as a slight favourite in Vegas and the line has since moved a little further in their direction. TFC was clearly superior in the regular season, but Seattle has had a more comfortable playoff run. In short, I have no idea.
SOME GUIDE THIS IS.
OK, fine. TFC fans should take some comfort in the fact that their side has overcome considerable adversity to get here. They played very well in their first playoff game, then things got weird. The second game was a fight — including the literal one at halftime — which led to those suspensions for the third game and there were long layoffs and some injury concerns. It has been weeks since Toronto has played like themselves at full strength. If they can do that, they should win.
AND WHAT IF IT GOES TO PENALTY KICKS AGAIN?
Then hide the children. And also anyone with a delicate heart.